Saving Face
by Blue Basium
Summary: Do you remember the night, when I had to play your angel? To save your soul? Addison and Derek pairing, set roughly after 3.08, and my take on things from there. Rating will be bumped later.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Look who's back, back again. Ya, I know, you were all struggling along without me and whatnot. I've come to rescue you all from these dark days gasp. Hmm, yeah, sure I have. You know, it's just dawned on me that all people really use these notes for are to rant a little and make witty snarky comments. insert snark and wit here please. I really have no idea where this is going, well I do, I have up to chapter 8 outlined and crap, but...well. I'll see how you guys like it and we'll go from there ok? So, let me know how you like it, I' not gonna lie, it's pretty terrible, but there's a point in the future that I like a little, I'm pretty proud of, but you can't see that yet, so, review and you'll get to the good stuff. No pain no gain.

Summary- meh, I don't even think it needs one. To sum things up, Addison plans on saving face. She realises that there is one person who owes her. She's going to make him pay up I guess...

* * *

He sat in the booth by the far wall. It was a good spot. From his position, leaning back in the curved booth in the comfortable soft leather he could see the whole of the bar. 

He spotted it.

Her fire auburn hair.

She rose to greet the first of many.

He couldn't help but wonder what had possessed her. This was something he had never in the world imagined her doing. It was so, out of character. It made him wonder, did he even really know her anymore?

He shook his head, of course he did, he still knew all those little details no one else did. Like how her eyes were really blue, not green or greenish blue. Just blue, a rich ice blue. And how she hated chocolate, unless it was white chocolate. She only drank hot chocolate from October until February, any other month coffee was perfectly fine. She didn't like roses either, or most flowers. It didn't matter what kind of sentimental or romantic meaning it had. Although she was a hopeless romantic when she wanted to be. She only loved lilies.

But there were so many things he didn't know anymore. To be more correct, so many things she didn't want him to know, that, he didn't understand.

Not that he could blame her. Of course, he blamed for a lot of things, but some things, they weren't worth thinking about.

At least that's what he told himself.

"Strike one." Option number one was sporting a fresh bouquet of blood red roses. He gestured towards her hair and Derek knew he was trying to make a comparison of some kind.

Addison flinched in abject horror. Maybe she should have added that to her description.

"So, your in real estate?" she asked forcing a smile to her face.

"I suppose you could say that."

"Oh?"

"Ya, it's kind of like the stock market you know?"

"No, I'm afraid I don't know. I'm a doctor, I was never really interested in the field of, stock, markets." she inwardly flinched, she sounded like an intern.

"Well, I'm not really an official real estate agent. I clean real estate agents offices three times a week."

Addison was really not in a position to look down on anyone right now.

"I suppose that could be interesting." she nodded.

"It can be, but my other job is so much more, fulfilling. I work as an ass double for pornography. More specifically anal sex pornography. It's an art really. You know, you could have a great career in that field." he smiled enthusiastically at her and leaned in his seat ever so slightly. He reached a hand out towards her.

She stamped hard on his toe with her heel. Thank Louboutin and all his creations.

"Move it an inch closer and I break it. And all the little pigs too."

"I was just checking, they don't let just anyone into the industry you know." he managed to hiss in spite of his pain.

"Get out. Get out now."

Ok so, she had enough self respect to be able to judge this guy.

She stood up and grabbed his arm, making a mental note to scrub her hands extra hard next time she scrubbed in.

She shoved him towards the door.

"You sick twisted freak get the hell out and never ever come here again. I will be no ones ass double you bastard!" she hissed before stalking back to her table.

"Aw, lighten up Addison, he was just trying to be friendly. I'm sure you'd be pretty popular too." a voice whispered over her shoulder.

"Mark!" her eyes grew wide with horror.

He smirked and she narrowed her eyes. Silently telling him if he so much as mouthed a word of what he just heard he would be removing his head from his own ass when she was done with him.

He shrugged his shoulders and moved past her towards the bar.

It was his fault she was even doing this in the first place. Stupid man whore.

An hour and a half later she flopped down into her seat.

"Joe I need vodka." she called out.

The bartender shook his head to hide his laughter before going to get her order. Those surgeons kept him in business.

She blew a strand of hair out of her eyes.

'_Oh God no.'_

This could not be happening. Why? Why did God hate her so much?

Derek raised his glass of scotch towards her and smiled with false cheeriness.

Joe placed a shot glass on the table in front of her and poured the clear liquid right to the top.

"Leave the bottle Joe." she waved a hand dismissively. Maybe she could work this to her advantage.

Joe nodded, she was no light weight so he wasn't so worried.

"Mind if I join you." she asked placing the vodka bottle beside his scotch.

She sat down on the opposite side of the booth before he could answer.

'_Grey Goose. Some things never change then.'_ he noted.

"So let me get this straight, _you_ want to bring _me _to your sisters wedding." he howled with drunken laughter and a few of the bars patrons shot them looks of disproval.

"Sssh" she stage whispered and placed a finger on her lips. "We have to be really quiet.

You owe me anyway. You slept with Meredith."

"But why? Why would you want me there if you hate me so much?"

"Do you really think I want to? You cheated on me Derek, you cheated when you we were supposed to be trying. Do you have any idea how humiliating it was to watch you standing there begging her to be with you after having sex with her while I was ten feet away with the vet? Do you think I can arrive at this wedding and explain to them all why my husband of more than a decade can't come because he's busy screwing the waifish intern he left me for. Do you have any idea how humiliating it was to explain to them why I was leaving Manhattan in the first place? Why I had been staying at Mark's apartment for months? Not only will I have to explain this to _my _family, but yours too." Her voice was low and threatening. "You owe me. Just this once Derek. _You owe me, _I'm not letting you get away with that."

His felt his gut clench when he heard her talk about staying with Mark. She'd told him before, but really, once was enough.

He knocked back another shot of vodka. The liquid burned his throat so hard he closed his eyes tight. When he opened them she was still there. She started at him hard, although her eyes were glazed over and he knew his were angry and bloodshot he could still feel the intensity of her gaze.

He sighed and reached out a hand to stroke her cheek.

She pushed his hand away roughly. She swallowed in a vain attempt to sober up a little. Her tongue seemed to be leaking scotch and other forms of liquor into her mouth and the back of her throat burned.

"We're divorced Derek. You cheated on me. At prom. At a prom that you asked me to. Don't touch me. Don't. I can barely look at you without…. Just don't Derek."

She stood up shakily and stumbled towards the door without drawing too much attention to her self.

"Addison. Wait." he tossed a couple of bills on the table littered with bottles and glasses. The latter having been discarded a few hours ago.

He pushed open the door to find her standing, swaying slightly as she pressed a cell phone to her ear.

"Let me get you a cab, I'll send you back to the hotel. Tell Mark I'm sorry I let you get into such a mess."

"Don't you dare talk to me about Mark. And stop pretending your more sober than me. You're not. You never were. I hate Mark, and you. I hate men. All men. Men should be, I don't know, my head hurts. Just leave me alone Derek." she rambled not even noticing Derek had taken her phone from her and fixed her bag on her shoulder.

"Fine. There's a cab. Just be careful ok." He ushered her into the back seat.

"I still hate you. You still slept with another woman. Chivalry doesn't balance that out."

"You slept with Mark."

His cheek began to sting and he could feel the bruise already forming.

"Bitch."

"Hypocrite."

The taxi driver glanced back at them, clearing his throat he gestured towards the time.

She fished around in her bag. She handed him a piece of paper. He squinted at it and tried to read it in his drunken state.

"No one has to know the truth. Just don't have sex in any exam rooms." she slammed the door in his face and the car sped off into the night.

"She's saving face."

* * *

Ummhumm, I did it, I went there... So, how do you feel about that:P 


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I figured I just stick in a disclaimer: I own nothing, but I can dream right?

* * *

The arrivals and departures board was being cursed to hell and back by roughly five hundred disgruntled travellers.

"You really don't have to stay until the plane leaves. We have to go through security anyway, you'll just be sitting here staring at that cursed thing." he pointed out.

Meredith shook her head and observed Addison sipping a vanilla latte from Starbucks. It pissed her off that he bought it for her. It pissed her off more that she liked it.

"It's fine, really, I don't mind. I'm sure you could use some good company anyway." she smiled.

Addison snorted. The two looked over at her and she waved her hand.

"Sorry. There was a funny line in my book. Something about a man's ex-mistress turned possible new girlfriend trying to subtly beg him to stay with her, instead of hopping on a flight with Satan and her minions."

"Addison!" Derek exclaimed, he looked at Meredith apologetically.

"I thought it was just the two of you flying? It's ok, I'm just going to leave anyway, have a safe flight. Both of you." she added grudgingly.

"Bye Mer, thanks for the ride. The cost of parking here is ridiculous, I don't think the Chief would like me too much if I tried to expense it with the hospital." he joked trying to lighten the mood.

Meredith looked at him and tilted her head to the side.

"You're a neurosurgeon, you make like two million dollars a year." she shrugged and turned around to head for the exit, giving them one last wave.

Addison faked a bright smile and waved cheerfully. Derek sat down in the seat beside her, moving her bag and coat onto the ground.

"Wow, you bagged a smart one didn't you McDreamy?" she mused, eyes never leaving her book.

"Mark had to repeat 6th grade twice, you really want to go there?"

"And yet, he still managed to become a very successful surgeon. Go figure."

"Shut up Addison, I think you've made enough smart ass comments for today don't you think?"

"You're just pissed because my last comment reminded you that she's still waiting for the day when you show up at her door and play the role of knight in shining armour stepping in to shower her with love and adoration. Kind of like how she adores you. She's like a puppy." Addison looked up wistfully.

"So what does that make Mark? He followed you all the way across the country. Only to be rejected and called a "trans-continental booty call." Pathetic if you ask me." Derek huffed and crossed his arms.

Addison slammed her book closed and grabbed her bag and coat from under Derek's feet. She started walking hurriedly. Derek shook his head and followed her. She never walked away from a fight.

What was wrong with her? She could make all the snaky comments about Meredith she wanted but Mark was off limits? It was as if she was bipolar or something equally as out of character of Addison. She had thicker skin than that.

Addison dashed through security as quickly as she could. The lines were long and the people were rude. She hated airports. She hated flying. She hated her sister. She hated Derek. Why was she going through all this crap for these people? He owed her this. Not the other way around.

She made her way to the departures lounge and took two seats near the window. She dropped her bag and coat down on the seat next to her.

Old habits die hard.

Derek found her curled up on a chair near the windows watching planes taking off. She hated flying. He felt a twinge of guilt when he remembered she'd flown all the way out here to Seattle by herself. All alone. He squashed down the guilt and reminded himself the reason why she had been flying out here alone in he first place.

He decided that despite the fact that yes, he did actually owe her just this one thing, a 6 hour flight with Addison while she was in one of her moods couldn't be handled without at least one scotch.

He found himself drowning his sorrows in a shallow, half empty, because since prom things have always been half empty, cheap glass of scotch. The amber liquid burned the back of his throat and it occurred to him that any time he felt that familiar sensation in the hollow of his neck he thought of her.

It didn't seem fair to him that she always seemed to creep into every fibre of his being not matter how hard he tried to get rid of her.

The first time he'd ever had scotch had been with her. He remembered it vividly. The black sorrowful streaks of mascara paving their way down her pale porcelain face. Her red hair gleaming in the moonlight she leaned down and pressed her lips against his. It was in that moment. That desperate, depressed moment he realised the taste of scotch on her lips was the worlds only aphrodisiac.

He pulled her into his lap and took the gleaming tumbler from her fragile hands. She wound her arms around his neck. He held it up and watched the amber catch the pale moonlight. The colours danced upon her face and she whispered in his ear that it would be ok. She was there and they would get through it together if he needed.

Looking back now, the painful realisation set in that, he had needed her in those days, weeks, months and sometimes to this day when that dull ache sets in his chest when he catches the eye of a man who smiles just like he did. He needs her.

But he can't have her anymore. She can't have him either. Not after what they did. What they both did, he reminds himself. He knows in his soul that he is not totally blameless in this whole mess of emotions that has become his once love and passion filled marriage. But for today, he's not ready to listen to that particular part of his conscience. That would make things hard. For right now, he doesn't want hard. He wants the easy way out. He knows he's taken that easy way out too many times these past few years.

He knows.

He knocks back the last of his scotch and comes to the conclusion that he probably shouldn't drink scotch again until he can do so without those painful memories and realisations dawning on him.

He thanks the bar tender and moves to join his ex-wife while they wait for their delayed flight.

The flight that will take them back to a place where emotions and memories, scars and cracks in the very foundations, run so deep, both of them know it will be a constant fight and struggle to keep in control and not let those messy emotions, that they manage to keep just at bay while they work together at the hospital, fall out of their hands into fate's.

Their fate was only so kind to them for so long.

Neither of them are sure if love could have been enough to change fate. If love could be enough now, they never gave it a chance. They never tried as hard as they could.

"So, I'm sorry I hurt you back there. I didn't mean it, I just….It's hard right now, to have to be with you and Meredith at the same time. I'm sorry Addie."

He searched her eyes for some small sense of absolution from her.

"You don't even know why your apologising to me. You're just saying it because you don't want to have to sit next to me for six hours knowing that I could blow up at you any minute and you'd be the only one left to deal with me. You couldn't just hand me off to someone like, _Mark._" she spoke his name with such a passionate hate Derek almost felt sorry for the bastard who fucked his wife in his bed.

"So this is about me being absent?"

"No. It's about you calling me pathetic. It's about you not even having the decency to think about what you said that might have pissed me off. You just apologised because you hate when I'm mad. You can't stand the fact that you're not perfect and I know that. That I _know you_. You seem to have forgotten that." she finished quietly.

"I forgot a lot of things. I'm sorry for that too." he murmured gently.

"And don't call me Addie." she sat back down in her seat and folded her arms, legs that went on for miles crossed.

"I'll write that down right beside no touching, because it makes you want to vomit." he sat back in his seat. His position mirroring hers.

They sat like two bold children pouting in a time out.

They had been very, very naughty though.

* * *

And there we have another chapter. Press the nice blue-ish button now. 


	3. Chapter 3

It's been a little while. so Im kind of hoping people will have some sympathy for my poor(still) crippled self and leave a review. I can't believe I pulled the cripple card. Snap. Ha look at me trying and failing miserably to be all ghetto... What has the world come to. Anyway, on with the story.

* * *

"Tonight? The rehearsal dinner is tonight? Which means the wedding is in two days." Addison paced back and forth in front of the shower. If she stayed in there much longer her freshly blow dried hair was going to frizz.

"It's your own fault Addie-Addison." Derek commented sticking his head out from behind the shower curtain.

"Naturally." she replied dryly. She glanced over at him and rolled her eyes. "Get back behind that shower curtain."

Derek shrugged before retreating into the steam. He could hear her voice travelling up and down various pitches as she continued her girl flip out on the other side of the curtain.

It wasn't his fault she chose the option of spending the least amount of time with her family as possible over having a day and a half to prepare herself for dealing with her immediate and extended family.

He stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist he shifted through the pile of clothes on the bed that had been dumped there after Addison's demon like search for a pair of panties this morning.

Derek wasn't sure how to handle living in such close quarters with his ex-wife, in her own home.

Those moments when they acted on instinct and routine also ended horribly awkward when they tried to retreat from the sense of familiarity. It was unnerving and at times down right squeamish.

"I think I'll wear the black dress." she mused as she shifted from side to side in front of the full length ornate mirror at the back of her bedroom.

"Isn't that a little….depressing. For a rehearsal dinner." he asked coming to stand behind her.

She tried to ignore the feeling of warmth passing through her at the closeness of his body.

"Well considering how our marriage ended up I see it as fair warning." she replied slipping around his still towel clad body and tossing the dress onto the bed.

A sudden creaking announced someone's arrival into the room.

Addison immediately spun around and flung herself into Derek's arms. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she captured his lips between hers.

Derek was confused to say the least but didn't hesitate in kissing her back. One hand falling to pull on her hip, the other tangled in her auburn locks. Their tongues duelled passionately.

"Jesus Addison, dramatic much?" A voice called from the doorway.

Addison pulled away from Derek's arms and turned to face her visitor. Derek let his arms fall meekly to his sides as he tried in vain to forget her taste and scent all over him. Another cold shower might have been in order.

"Carmen. Looking for something?" Addison asked sweetly as she sat down on the bed, shoving Derek's entire wardrobe for the week on the floor at her feet.

Derek mumbled something about passive aggressive and grabbed a pair of boxers and jeans from the pile before retreating to the bathroom.

Carmen snorted in laugher and pushed the door closed behind her.

"Don't bother putting on the act for me dear auntie Addison. I know all your secrets babe, but don't worry, not a word will be said to Mommy Dearest and your dad." she sauntered over to the wardrobe where the rest of Addison's dresses and gowns were hanging.

Addison watched her in abject horror. Her mouth falling open she blinked a few times before she could form coherent sentences.

"How the hell do you know?" she suddenly screeched.

Derek who had just exited the en suite was severely tempted to crawl back in there.

Carmen turned to face them both.

"Hello I've missed you both immensely too my dear godparents." she commented darkly.

"Carmen. You know I love you. So much. But really, I need you to tell me who told you so I can send Derek out to, _deal, _with them."

"Why couldn't you do it?" Derek asked as he searched under the bed for socks.

"Because, _darling," _she handed him pair of socks from under the covers, "I might ruin my nails. And I'm pretty sure you have some pent up frustrations you're just dying to release."

"Mark told me." Carmen announced. A dark smirk spreading across her face as she watched their reaction.

"You told Mark!" Addison and Derek chorused, both jumping to their feet.

They both took a step back, still locking eyes.

Carmen smiled easily, her work here done she rose to her feet and made her way across the room to the door.

"Breakfast is ready in ten minutes. The soon to be married couple are arriving any minute. So, don't show them what a real relationship does to your souls I guess." she left a pair of dumb struck individuals behind her.

Addison shook herself out her stupor and headed in the same direction as her niece., cousin, sister, half sister, whatever the hell Carmen was to her. They were never that big on titles.

"Don't wear the red shirt. I left a t-shirt on my side of the bed, it makes your eyes look good." she said quietly before exiting the room.

Derek merely nodded.

This whole situation just got ten times more complicated.

"Damnit Addison why couldn't you just swallow your pride for once."

_--_

Derek caught up with Addison on the middle landing of the enormous staircase. They were coming in opposite directions and Derek took his chance to grab a hold of her elbow before she could make a sharp right turn and head downstairs.

"How screwed are we now?" he murmured quietly.

"As screwed as Meredith at prom."

"That was uncalled for, but a good analogy all the same."

"From what I've gathered Mark and Carmen are the only ones who know. Provided you haven't told anyone, I think we're ok. Seeing as Carmen is just going to get pleasure out of seeing us squirm and Mark won't even be here. I think we're good."

Derek nodded. "One more thing. That kiss. Can I initiate those too?"

Addison rolled her eyes. "Fine. I think I can handle that. Just, only do it when you think it's necessary."

Derek smirked. "I'm wearing you down already."

Without further notice he quickly closed the distance between them and fused her lips to his. Addison pushed at his chest. Derek pulled back just a small distance, enough so that if you weren't standing on the stairs it looked like the two were still kissing.

"Don't. Your family just assembled at the front door." he murmured quietly.

"Damn you." Addison hissed before bringing her lips to meet his again. She let him continue the kiss until his hands were travelling a little too close to her ass for her liking.

She quickly pulled away and shot him a warning glare.

Derek shrugged and took her hand in his as they made their way down the stairs.

Addison dug her nails deep into the skin of his palm and forced a smile to her face as they approached the group assembled at the bottom

--

The Edwardian Grande Hotel had held host to many glamorous affairs. At a few points quiet literally affairs of glamorous people.

Tonight, however it was playing host to the Montgomery-Forbes family and the wedding party of it's second youngest child.

"This is ridiculous. I think my teeth are starting to go blind." Carmen muttered angrily in between flashes. "I'm not even a part of this family."

"Shut up. You are for now. Unless you want mom to get weepy after her fifth glass of champagne I suggest you keep that smile on your face and pretend we all love one another." Duncan hissed as he shifted from foot to foot anxiously. He smiled and waved at a brunette standing behind the crowd of cameras, her hands rested on the obvious baby bump and she blushed a little.

"Ya. Listen to your surrogate brother. We all know how smart he is." Audrey quipped before tossing her hair over her shoulder.

"I swear to god Aud if you flick that hair in my face one more time I will chop it off with a rusty scalpel. One that hasn't been disinfected." Addison said shoving her sister to the side a little so she didn't get a mouthful of hair every five seconds.

"Smile you guys. We could make front pages with this kind of stuff. I can imagine it know. We could even have our own reality show on MTV or something." Dior smiled pushing his chest out a few inches more.

"This is the guy your giving you baby to? Duncan, sometimes I worry about your sanity." Carmen smirked.

"Shut up. You know I'm just kidding. Don't tell Aubrey though, she seems to think some trashy magazine is going to be begging for her wedding pictures." Dior rolled his eyes when he spotted his mother pinching his boyfriend, Jeff's, cheeks.

Addison merely smirked at the sight of her father in a seemingly deep conversation with Derek. She sent a good natured wink in his direction when she was sure a few people were looking.

"I think we're done here. Just don't have too many drinks tonight. I'm sticking around and under strict instructions to get as many rolls of film full as possible so, be careful." the photographer warned with what he thought was a helpful smile.

The siblings, and Carmen, waited until he was out of eat shot before bursting into fits of laughter.

"I plan on being photographed at least twice tonight with my hand on some guys crotch." Audrey announced with a self satisfied smile on her face.

They all rolled their eyes. Those kind of things weren't so much a plan for their sister as they were a daily acurance.

"What's the matter Addie? I'm normally warned about twenty times if I so much as shake your husband's hand I'm screwed." Audrey scanned her older sisters eyes curiously. On the surface she may have come across as a self-centred whore who didn't give a damn, but deeper, way deeper, she really did care about her family.

"Nothing. I'm fine. Keep your hands off Derek and I'll be more than fine for longer. I'm off to the bar. See you all sometime after eleven tomorrow morning."

"Something's up with her." the three siblings chorused.

Carmen merely smiled to herself. Things were going to get interesting.

The night was dragging on. Addison had settled herself in a quiet corner, safely tucked away from prying eyes and loud guests.

She caught her reflection on a silver desert spoon on the table and was gratified to see the red on her cheeks was dying down.

After the mortification that was stumbling through an unrehearsed and unplanned speech her face had gone from having and attractive healthy glow to a full on tomato resemblance.

She took a sip from her martini glass, absently twirling the cherry on the tip of her tongue. She gazed around the room until her eyes settled on a familiar presence making his way towards her.

Derek remained silent until he sat down on the stool beside her.

"Thank you." she said quietly, dipping the cherry into the glass before bringing it back up to her lips.

"For what?" he pretended to be out of the loop.

"For keeping the hordes of people away from me long enough so I can pretend I'm no longer embarrassed and get really hammered." she sucked on the cherry once more. Gazing at him sideways through her dark lashes. She drew her tongue in a lazy circle on the bottom of the cherry.

"You're not drunk Addison. You are however making every straight male in the vicinity sweat and ask for ice in their drinks." he mused.

Addison smirked. "Do something about it then."

Derek thought for a moment.

"If I do, you'll hit me. Somehow I don't think your mother will be too pleased to have someone sporting a bruise in any of her daughters wedding pictures."

"You're lying. You know how I know. You're a bad liar. Always have been. You just don't want to kiss me because- well, actually I have no idea why you wouldn't want to kiss me. I'm kissable, hell I'm fuck-able. You know it. I know it. All the other men in here know it too, so what the hell is stopping you?-"

Derek quickly cut off her incessant rambling by pressing his lips against hers. She dropped the blood red cherry from her hands and quickly raked her fingers through his hair. She locked his mouth to hers, tongues duelling, fighting for control.

She pulled back a little and laughed against his lips as his hands travelled up her thighs to push the hem of her dress up higher and higher.

Derek smiled a little and brushed his fingers teasingly over the front of her black lace thong. She moaned into his mouth and his smile grew wider in pride.

"Stop smiling I'm trying to make out with you." Addison mumbled while he still had her top lip trapped between his.

"So now you want to kiss me?" Derek smirked moving his kisses to her neck.

"You're a good kisser. That's all." she muttered as she tugged on his hair to move his lips back to hers. She kissed him hungrily and passionately. Derek let her have control for awhile before his cave man instinct got the better of him and he pulled her into his lap so she was straddling him as he placed scorching kisses down her neck and back up along her jaw line before fusing their lips together once more.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

So I haven't updated this in about... a year. No, it couldn't be that long, a month or two at the most. I dunno, I've kind of lost count, and to be honest I doubt many people care anymore. But I still want this to be out there, somehow.

**0000000000000000000000**

Mike Hart had a fairly simple life. He worked hard, he enjoyed his life, his wife, his little girl and the ancient swing set in the backyard that was being used frequently these past months.

Yes, he had been happy and carefree. That was until about six months ago when he'd received a call from the Forbes-Montgomery's lawyer's assistant. The second youngest of the troupe, the older twin, was to be married. His services were required. He was to ensure that no stone was left unturned in the quest for the picture perfect wedding. He'd been snapping portraits and capturing breathtaking images of the stunning land surrounding the family's mind blowing estate for the past two weeks in preparation for tonight's rehearsal dinner. Although he doubted any of the guests even ate.

He was pleasantly surprised when he found himself pulled off to the side my the younger twin. She pressed a hundred dollar bill firmly into his damp palm and pointed to couple in a booth on the opposite wall.

"Pretend it's for a Calvin Klein ad. Go nuts, trust me." she whispered a hint of a smile possessing her almost elf like features.

He nodded and masked his confusion with what he thought was a charming smile.

Addison opened one eye when a flash of light interrupted her otherwise occupied senses. She blinked rapidly and pulled away from Derek slightly.

She leaned her forehead against his and watched his eyes shine for a beat.

"We should get out of here." she mused.

Derek nodded energetically, taking an extra second to get his breath.

"I don't like the idea of sharing you with an entire ballroom full of your relatives." he muttered, wincing a little as another flash caught the corner of his eye.

Addison didn't bother correct him, just wiggled her hips a little so she was free to get out of their corner.

"Place with a bed?" she breathed against his cheek, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Sounds good to me." he murmured, stealing one last kiss before lacing his fingers through hers and tugging her towards the doors.

**00000000000000000000000000**

Giving him a moment before leaning in and giving him a deep, passionate kiss, slowly running her tongue over his lips before slipping it inside to explore his mouth.

"Mmm…Addie…are you sure?" Derek asked her softly, finally breaking the kiss to catch his breath.

"Yeah, I'm sure." she responded slightly breathless

Derek grinned before kissing her hungrily, letting his tongue slip inside her mouth, stroking her tongue with his as he slowly laid her back on her bed, moving over her. He deepened the kiss, smiling against her lips as he felt her tongue begin to move against his as he slid a hand under her dress, letting his fingers lightly play over the soft skin of first her side and then her stomach. Hearing her soft moan only encouraged him to continue, and he slowly moved his hand farther up under her shirt, smiling as he reached her breast and realized she wasn't wearing a bra.

Feeling his skilled surgeon's hands slowly moving up her body and coming to rest on her breast, she couldn't help as another moan escaped her lips. She slid her hands up his chest slowly, moving her fingers into his hair and pulling back from the kiss slightly to get a couple breaths in, which was difficult considering Derek had moved his kisses to her neck and was continuing to caress her breast, rubbing his thumb over and around her nipple.

Derek let his tongue play over the skin of her neck as his fingers continued to play with her nipple. He finally slid his hand back down her body slowly and smiled down at her before pushing the zipper along her side down her curves to reveal her stomach. He moved to place soft kisses there before slowly removing the dress inch by inch and trailing his kisses upwards as well, finally pulling the material over her long legs as she raised up slightly so he could do so. He smiled down at her again, lightly moving his fingertips over her upper body, memorizing everything about how she looked and felt beneath his fingers.

Addison blushed slightly under his intense gaze, but smiled as she moved her hands over his shoulders to his chest, slowly undoing the buttons of his shirt before running her fingers back up his chest and pushing the now open shirt over his shoulders. She let her own fingers travel over his now bare chest, memorizing every chiselled muscle, loving how he was taking things so slow with her, wanting to make that moment last forever. Derek grinned mischievously as he reached the waistband of her panties and gently tugged on them, causing them to come down only slightly since her hips were still against the mattress. He placed a fiery kiss on her lips and slid his hands under the silky material, resting them on her hips for a few moments before slowly working them down more and smiling against her lips as she raised her hips off the bed slightly to let him remove the black silk easily.

Once he had them off, she returned the act, slowly sliding her hands down to his dark dress pants and slid her hands below the top of them teasingly before unbuttoning them and carefully pushing them over his hips. She smiled up at him as she let her eyes travel over his mostly naked body, smiling a little more as she watched him finish removing his pants and kick them to the floor. Her smile grew even more as she watched him remove his boxers as well before slowly lowering himself back down to her and covering her lips with his once more.

Derek continued kissing her, letting his tongue give her a small preview of what was to come just a bit later. He smiled as he moved his kisses to her neck, hearing her moan and feeling her arch her body against his slightly. He slowly moved his hands back down her body, and sliding them down her long, smooth legs, grinning as he dropped them to the floor. He took a moment to just look at her, completely mesmerized. He covered her body with his own as he began his trail of kisses on her lips and slowly let them move downward, stopping at her breasts.

Addison inhaled slowly, trying to remind herself how to breathe as she felt his tongue slowly circling her right nipple. She let out a quiet moan as he began licking and sucking it, and moaned a bit louder as he gently nibbled it before running his tongue back over it smoothly once more and moving on to the left side.

She knew he had her right where he wanted her.

Derek repeated the same process on her left breast that he had done to her right, and then slowly brought his kisses downward, stopping at her navel to let his tongue play a bit, smiling as his actions made her squirm slightly. He ran his hands over her thighs and then gently spreading her legs slightly. He teasingly brushed his fingers over her inner thigh, slowly inching them upwards, and finally running his finger over her, smiling as he found her already slightly wet due to his earlier actions.

He gently eased his finger inside of her, causing Addison to moan at the feeling of pleasure. He began moving his finger, first around in a circle and then pulling it out and pushing it back in, still being tender and gentle with her. After a few times with a single finger, he carefully slipped in another and slightly picked up the speed at which he moved them in and out of her, causing her breathing to become somewhat laboured. Satisfied with this reaction from her, he removed his fingers much to her dismay and silenced her soft whimper with a kiss.

"Shh, I'm not done yet baby,"

Derek then began trailing slow kisses up her inner thigh, leaving a wet trail behind with his tongue. Finally reaching his destination, he let his tongue smoothly slide over her and then slowly slipped his tongue inside her, causing her to gasp slightly. He slowly moved his tongue in circles inside her, delighting in her moans that were now louder than before. Feeling her muscles beginning to tighten around his tongue, he smiled and slowly began moving his tongue in and out of her. He gradually increased his pace as he felt her coming closer and closer, she whimpered softly and he felt her come around his tongue he paused so she could enjoy every moment of it before starting to twirl it inside her once more. He was determined to make her come twice before he did. Which was getting harder as he felt her body moving around him and the way she moaned his name. Her voice dripping with passion. He ran his hands over her toned stomach and down to her thighs once more. She caught on to his idea and propped herself up on her elbows. Still panting slightly and her hair tousled she smiled down at him seductively. Her looked up and grinned back at her.

She sat up a little more and wiggled her hips some to get comfortable, as she moved Derek's tongue pushed deeper in her and she nearly fell back on the bed once more. She groaned and ran her fingers through Derek's thick wavy locks. She raised one leg and draped it over Derek's shoulder. Her grabbed at her other leg and moved it up to over his other shoulder to get a better angle. Her hips bucked against him and he smirked, she was getting wetter for him. He let her tilt back a bit more as he started to work his tongue inside her. He licked at her and twirled, her body arching and her breathing growing laboured once more.

"Don't stop. Keep, doing, that, Christ." she panted, the power of speech slowly moving further from her grasp. Derek moved his mouth up slightly as her legs wound around him tighter. His tongue stretched her whole body out. Suddenly he started sucking and licking at her clit. She called out a little and Derek knew she was coming once more. He kept thrusting his tongue in her harder until she came all around is tongue and her body went slack around him. He kissed her once more down there before withdrawing his tongue and slowly moving it up her body to her lips.

He lowered them both back to the bed gently until her head hit the pillow.

Her wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her close to his body as he kissed up along her body.

Derek slowly moved his tongue back into her mouth, letting it roam freely as he gently rubbing his fingers over her thighs. Her legs spread wider for him and he slowly and deliberately thrust into her.

He felt his whole body quiver. It was like he was hyper sensitive to her touch, his entire body felt electric. It was the greatest feeling he'd had in his life.

He heard her moan with pleasure as her hands on his hips gently guided him even closer to his body, she needed to feel him close.

They both stopped for a moment to feel pleasure from the new sensations inside each of their bodies.

Feeling Addison arch her hips to him slightly, he knew she was ready and began a loving, tender rhythm inside her, slowly bringing his right hand up her side and across her arm to take her hand and lace his fingers with her own. He continued the slow pace until she breathlessly whispered for him to speed up.

"Derek. Just. Oh. Faster." she hissed seductively in his ear.

He could feel his dick growing even harder inside her and moaned into her shoulder.

Her hips started to buck against his as her passion and lust grew more and more. She wrapped her legs around his waist and arched her body into his.

She was driving him insane. Although, if this was what insanity was like, Derek never wanted to be sane again.

Her hips angled so that he was thrusting against her g-spot. Her moved his pelvic bone to ensure her clit was getting the attention it needed to bring her flying over the edge with pleasure she never felt before.

His kisses grew sloppier as he thrust harder and deeper inside of her. Short gasping breathy sounds escaped her lips as the warm feeling of euphoria began to awaken much stronger inside her.

"I'm coming," she breathed against his cheek.

Derek buried his head in her shoulder as her muscles began to tighten around him each time he pushed inside of her. Addison's hips rose up to meet his and he thrust deep within her one final time as they both reached their climax.

Derek groaning Addison's name, careful to muffle his voice in her neck, and Addison digging her nails into his shoulders slightly, moaning his name in complete bliss. Derek remained on top of Addison for a few moments before placing a gentle, loving kiss on her lips and pulling himself out of her, moving to lay beside of her with a smile.

She suddenly realised she didn't want to leave his arms for as long as possible.

Addison simply tucked her head under his, let his arms wrap around her firmly and drifted off to sleep. Derek listened to the sound of her breathing, running his fingers lazily through her silky hair. As her breathing become slower he realised she'd fallen asleep, it was only a few seconds before he followed her. Both laying there completely spent and sated in each others arms.

Neither worried of what the morning light would bring. Maybe they should have been worried, maybe they shouldn't. They only knew one thing. The moment that they were with each other, in each others arms, the past seemed to fly out the window. It was just the two of them together in that moment.

* * *

You go review. Now


	5. Chapter 5

Oh the drama never ends...

_ooooo_

There are times in your life when opening your eyes is just not an option. For Derek Shepherd one of those fateful times had arrived. There was a blinding white light exerting far too much pressure on his eyelids. He was pretty certain that it was not the good kind of white light. The kind that arrives to beckon you into the great beyond and usher you through those pearly gates. No. Derek Shepherd was pretty certain that the only thing that great white light was going to inform him of was that it was four hours too early to open his eyes and succumb to full consciousness. Derek suddenly felt a sharp surface make contact with his back side. He grunted and reluctantly rolled over onto his back, noting that he could feel pin pricks each time his skin stretched across his broad shoulders. He scrubbed sleep from is hazy blue eyes and yawned. He allowed his eyes to open fully against the harsh light.

They were met by the sight of a tidal wave of red locks surrounding a glaring face. Bright blue eyes transformed to a navy colour, filled to the brim with ice and severe loathing. He swallowed and squirmed a little under the intensity of her gaze. Her long legs that went all the way to Canada were folded underneath her Hindu style, disappearing under his own crisp white dress shirt. The collar was smudged with a red lipstick colour and it was wrinkled from being left in a tangled heap since the earlier hours of the morning. He couldn't help but feel turned on. _Damn her and those legs _he thought as he pulled the sheet up over his waist. He grabbed the expensive designer shoe and tossed it to the floor.

"Are trying to achieve an early death?" Addison hissed, immediately fawning over the fallen shoe. She cradled it in her arms as if it were an injured puppy. She placed it back in the suitcase she had dedicated to her footwear. The one Derek was not allowed touch unless he was wearing gloves.

"Do you have any respect at all? Do you not realise that your irresponsible actions can have very serious consequences? Did you think for one second about the people who could be affected just because you couldn't keep your pants on for one week?" her voice rose dangerously high in pitch on the last question and Derek was reminded that her family had all been gifted musically and her sister had the ability to break a champagne flute with her vocal chords alone.

He took in her appearance. The flowing waves of her hair flying around her head. Her hands going ninety miles an hour as she began pacing. She flopped back down on the chest at the end of the bed and quickly crossed her legs, shooting him a death glare to make grown men shriek 'mommy' and run for the hills. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and Derek was sure he'd never seen anything so breathe taking in his life.

"This isn't about the shoe anymore is it?" he murmured quietly. He glanced up and saw her watching him with an unreadable expression scrambling her features. Acting on his Grand Canyon leaping side he reached forward and quickly grabbed her around the waist, pulling her to the top of the bed and shifting his body above hers.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she growled shoving at his chest and tugging at his hair as he began peppering her neck and chest with kisses.

"OK ow! Stop pulling my hair. What are you five?" she stuck her tongue out in response and as she went to put it back inside her lips she found they were quickly claimed by his. Their mouths kneading heatedly as he let his hands slip inside his shirt to roam across the smooth planes of her stomach.

"You look tense. You're wearing my shirt too. I'm reclaiming what's mine." he murmured softly against the skin of her neck before swirling his tongue in the hollow of her collar bone.

Addison's hands moved quickly over his back. Her finger tips gently soothing the small red puncture marks left by her nails. She rubbed the skin gently, her touch sending quivers through his body. Her hands went down to his back side and pulled him even closer to her. Derek smiled slightly at the sigh that escaped her lips upon feeling his need for her pressing against her thigh. He pushed the shirt from her shoulders and dipped his head to kiss and suck at her breasts. Addison moaned softly and her back arched against his mouth. Derek let his hands slide down her very womanly body to between her legs. He ran his hands over her thighs, applying pressure to the soft skin before massaging them softly. Her legs slipped wider and she tugged at his shoulders, wanting his lips back on hers.

He moved his lips to hover above her own, pink and swollen from his previous attention. A heat rippled through her body right down to her throbbing core as he placed his thumb right on that super sensitive spot on her clit. He moved his thumb in circular motions and Addison whimpered slightly, burying her head in the crook of his neck, her warm breath seeming to envelope his whole body.

Derek moved his hands up her body to cradle her face gently in his hands. She tilted her head up and covered his lips with hers, slipping her tongue inside his mouth. She shifted her hips a little and Derek slowly pushed into her.

She tore her lips away from his and breathed his name, her head pressing back into the pillow as Derek placed scorching kisses along her neck.

_ooooo_

Downstairs in the Forbes-Montgomery home the rest of the family were enjoying their usual tense, smart comment filled breakfast.

Audrey passed the heated plate of pancakes to her father with an expression laced in hostility. Duncan glared at Aubrey while reaching for his mother's drink. Anything to help get him through this breakfast. Lillian Forbes immediately slapped his hand away.

"You can't drink until Caroline has her baby. It's not fair. Your father did it when I was pregnant with all of you." she said with an air of disdain. "Isn't that right dear?"

"Yes darling." Bob muttered darkly, reminiscing of happier times.

Carmen, Aubrey and the rest of the table snorted before lapsing into a fit of laughter.

Bob glanced around the table with a grin threatening to bubble over on his face. He locked eyes with his wife who sent him a small smile. A sudden thud interrupted the party's laughter. Everyone stopped and glanced around. A thump suddenly echoed off the walls of the large dining room. A shout travelled down through the floorboards. The family all raised their faces to the ceiling.

"Who's……?"

"Addison." Dior finished his boyfriend's lingering statement.

The occupants of the room all shared a quick look.

"Oh my…" Audrey was suddenly interrupted.

"God." Duncan finished.

Carmen glanced up at the ceiling. Her expression neutral, masking the utter confusion that was tumbling around her head. _So much for a divorce. _

"That is not my daughter. I refuse to believe that's my daughter." Bob chanted while tearing at a piece of bacon with much vigour.

"She may not be yours but she is clearly and most certainly her mother's daughter." Audrey smirked.

Lillian glared at her youngest daughter before glancing at the grandfather clock in the corner. "Oh for heaven's sake it's only ten in the morning!" she exclaimed, her eyebrows shooting up in abject horror.

"Oh c'mon , people have sex in the morning now. Just ask Duncan and Caroline." Carmen wiggled her eyebrows towards Duncan who ducked his head before his father's hand had a chance to make contact with it. Caroline blushed profusely and suddenly found her orange juice spectacularly interesting.

Lillian glared at Carmen, pursing her lips while the clogs in her head spun and whirred to think of an equally silencing retort.

"Carmen, I'm sure Duncan and Caroline don't appreciate you invading their privacy like that, I for one certainly don't. So, if you would like to continue living under this roof with the trust fund both your parents and Robert and I are providing for you I suggest you keep that potty mouth of yours shut until I say otherwise. Or I can send you back on that plane to Newport. Your choice." Carmen locked eyes with her aunt, daring her to prove her empty threats were not so. Lillian merely shook her head before taking a sip from her Bloody Mary.

The table was once again quiet as the dysfunctional family continued to consume the breakfast in silence.

_ooooo_

_This is not good. This is not good. _Addison clutched the pristine white flannel sheets around her chest as she tried desperately to figure out a way to get out the bed, into clothes and down the stairs as fast as possible without waking her ex-husband. It shouldn't have been that difficult. Except his fucking hands were all over her. One rested peacefully between her shoulder blades, his thumb caressing her skin every now and then, which was in itself adding to Addison's difficulty. His touch. He knew, even in his subconscious, just how to touch her, to hold her, how she liked to be touched, where and how often. Her head lay on his upper arm, snuggled in close _for warmth_ she tried to tell herself. Not because she loved to wake up being able to feel his warm breath against her neck. _Stop it Addie. Stop right now. _The other was placed on the small of her back, holding her close to his body. His forearm draped over her hip.

Part of her just wanted to fling his arm across the bed, dislocating his shoulder in the process. That same part of her then wanted to empty her entire shoe suitcase on top of him, with force. The other part of her wanted to just stay exactly as she was, lying there completely content and relaxed in his arms. Why was it that he was the only person who had the ability to make her feel completely protected and content by merely holding her and lying beside her? Even though he was also the only person who had the ability to break her down. Leave her a heartbroken, sobbing mess. Second guessing her every other minute and desperately seeking reassurance. She knew he shouldn't have that power over her. Not anymore. He lost that right. He lost that right when he checked out and stopped caring about her, then again when he caught her with Mark and simply walked away, not caring enough to put up a fight. He lost those rights when he treated her like a common whore; throwing insults in her face every chance he got. Then when he slept with his intern at prom while she was a mere twenty feet away. She may have been a strong woman but Addison Forbes-Montgomery was not that strong. She wasn't strong enough to have him hurt her like that again.

So why the fuck was she so safe and warm wrapped up in him.

"Addie stop thinking so loud." Derek whispered, still drugged on sleep.

"Don't call me Addie." she murmured, their faces were barely inches apart. He opened his eyes and looked into her swirling blue orbs looking straight into his soul. She lowered her head slightly to break eye contact but Derek dipped his head lower. He rubbed his nose against hers softly before pressing his lips against hers in a sweet kiss. She pulled away and closed her eyes.

"I was going to just dump my shoes on you and run. Leave you here at my stilettos' mercy." she murmured tilting her head up slightly to kiss along his jaw.

"Why are you telling me this?

Addison placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him onto his back. His hands found her hips and he helped her lift up a little so that she was straddling him. She leaned down to tangle her lips with his, pushing her fingers up to rake through his desperately in need of a hair cut hair. He held her on to each side tighter than he should have but he couldn't help it. She was crowding his senses, filling his mind. Her kiss was intoxicating and beautiful at the same time.

"So that you know that I am still very, very furious with you." she breathed against his ear before sucking his earlobe gently. Derek's hands tangled in her hair and he locked her lips against his. Wanting her there with him for as long as possible.

At the foot of the bed, which now contained two people on the brink of ecstasy, lying beneath a heap of hastily shed clothing a phone vibrated as the screen flashed the words "_Nancy, Home."_

_ooooo_

Addison glanced around the mirrored walls of the bridal shop. She had never understood how even though these kinds of placed were always filled to the brim with mirrors and overly helpful shop assistants that some brides and bridesmaids still managed to look hideous on the 'big day'. Thankfully, her younger sister had fantastic taste, although a little more out there than Addison's own it was something that set them apart at least. _So that way it looks like she's trying to imitate her older sister but just not quiet able to pull it off_ Addison smiled to herself at that.

"Dear god, I've only been here twenty four hours and I've already started thinking like a self obsessed teenager." she mused while flicking through the magazine in her lap.

Lillian, Aubrey, Audrey and Carmen all gave her blank expressions.

"Addieface, I hate to break it to you, because you know I love you. But you do like a self obsessed teenager." Audrey said giving her sister a sympathetic look.

"Slut." Addison retorted sticking out her tongue.

Lillian's face distorted slightly when the shop owner shot them a look from where she was busy placing a final few pins in the hem of Aubrey's skirt.

"Addison put that back in your mouth. I don't even want to think about where that's been."

Addison looked her mother, her face a mixture of embarrassment and confusion. Her mother knew spoke like that, at least not in public and while she was relatively sober.

"Oh don't listen to her Add, she's just pissy because she didn't realise that unlike _some_ married people, you and Derek still have sex."

"In the morning." Aubrey added to her twin sister's explanation.

Addison's jaw dropped in shock. Carmen glanced over at Addison with a raised eyebrow. She thrust the bridesmaid dresses she had been holding into Audrey's arms suddenly causing her to bump into Aubrey who shrieked as needle pricked her calf.

"If there is blood on my gown you will be cleaning with your own toothbrush you brat." she hissed at her sister.

Audrey glared up at her twin, drawing herself up to her full height she opened her mouth but her mother beat her to the punch.

"Girls." she said in her voice that made each and every Forbes-Montgomery female rise to attention and remember any manners they still had buried somewhere. "Aubrey stop acting so self-important, it's not very becoming. It seems cheap dear, like one of those spoilt heiresses, a Bridezilla I think they call it. Audrey. Do not aggravate your sister. Planning a wedding is very stressful. Just be lucky you'll never have to do it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Audrey exclaimed.

Lillian turned to face her daughter, staring her down. Audrey mumbled a meek 'sorry' as she began putting her solitary spilt end under severe scrutiny.

"Nice diversion, I owe you one." Addison said under her breath as Carmen joined her on the red and white paisleys chaise lounge. Carmen merely nodded and smiled graciously.

An ample amount of time passed before Aubrey suddenly remembered the conversation that her twin had abruptly ended when she pushed her.

"So, Addison, how are you and Derek these days?" she called over the door of the changing room as passed her wedding dress over the doors to the designer for a few final adjustments.

Outside in the store front the occupants all turned to face the eldest Montgomery daughter. The occupants consisting of the rest of her sister's, her mother and two of the town's biggest gossips who happened to be very close friends of her mothers and who were supposedly browsing for one of their own daughters. Addison remembered that particular classmate to have had one lazy eye and nails that looked they were part of an attempt at an entry to the Guinness Book of World Records. Then again that had been in junior high, she could've had Lasik surgery before High School.

"Clearly things between them are very, _very _good. If this morning's hearings are anything to go by." Audrey said coolly as she and Carmen posed in the mirror wearing ridiculously feathered hats.

"Oh, what happened this morning?" Camilla Bowles asked curiously. Addison glanced over to the botoxed blond and saw excitement dancing in her muddy brown eyes at the prospect of having something juicy to share at the yacht club later that evening.

"Nothing out of the ordinary." Addison smiled graciously as she slipped her Chanel bag over her shoulder after whipping her Blackberry out from within.

"Yes. Just Addison and Derek engaging in some very, _passionate_ love-making before breakfast." Lillian stated as if she had just announced that it was snowing in December.

Addison's head whipped up from reading her messages just as Aubrey emerged from the fitting room. Carmen and Audrey dropped the hats back on the holders and made for the doors of the overpriced boutique. Addison grabbed her mother's arm and steered her away from the hyenas. Aubrey quickly scribbled her second number on a piece of paper, dropping it on the counter before speeding after her siblings.

"Oh my." Camilla said as she and her friend watched the Montgomery women dart across the street to their car.

_ooooo_

Derek watched his former father in-law cut a steak that looked roughly the size of half the cow into thin strips. The threes dogs at his feet making low growling noises in the back of their oversized mouths. Derek glanced at the small white dog napping on his feet, keeping his toes nicely warmed. He reached down and scratched behind its ears, smiling when the old dog looked up and licked his fingers.

"Oh crap. Derek, it seems as if our peaceful existence has come to a premature demise." Bob said grimly as he kept his eyes fixed out the window.

Derek rose and joined Bob at the window. He watched as one extremely pissed off woman exited the sleek black car, followed by one rather indignant one, then three more that looked undecided as to weather they were amused of scared.

"What should we do?" Derek asked quietly. He had been around these women for close to fourteen years now. Still, whenever situations like these arose it was important to consult with someone wiser in the field of these species. The Forbes-Montgomery women were a breed unto themselves, according to themselves. Bob surveyed the troupe as they made their way to the back door, each carrying roughly four large shopping bags each.

"You take Addison; you were always the best getting her to calm down." Derek inwardly cringed. "I'll do my best to provide a distraction, if that doesn't work, you grab the lighter fluid from under the sink and some matches, I'll take this meat and me, you and the dogs will get out of here and have our own little barbecue out in the safety of the Orchard." Bob whispered with military precision. Derek nodded and resumed his post at the table. The silent bubble the house had once been peacefully covered in was suddenly burst. Chewbacca, the west highland terrier Derek often bonded with, sat straight up and bolted for the pantry.

_Dammit boy take me with you, _Derek inwardly pleaded as he watched the two tiny hind legs disappear.

"Unlike you, mother, I do not want the entire town knowing what I do in my private life." Addison's voice quickly reverted Derek to the task at hand. He glanced at Bob who gestured with his stainless steel carving knife at the fiery redhead. Derek took a deep breath.

"Addison I didn't mean anything by it would you please stop acting like I kicked your puppy." Lillian responded fanning herself with a piece of card. Aubrey quickly snatched it from her grasp, shooting her a look for playing with her wedding invitation. Derek quickly stood up and moved to Addison's side. He tried casually to slip an arm around her waist and he almost succeeded, unfortunately Addison slipped out of his grasp.

"What the hell are you doing?" she looked him up and down, making Derek feel like he'd just gotten caught for taking a cookie from the cooling tray.

"Baby…" he began tentatively, giving her a meaningful look and gesturing with his head around the room.

Addison slapped his hand away. "Don't you dare call me baby. You calling me _baby_ is what got me here in the first place." she seethed.

"That sounds vaguely familiar." Duncan mused aloud as he stepped through the swinging door to the kitchen. Everyone's head whipped in his direction, except for Derek's, who kept his gaze firmly fixed on Addison.

"Oh." Duncan said quietly.

"You asshole!" Addison screeched. She took a step forward and everyone, Derek included instantly stepped away. A whimper was heard from Laya, the family's black retriever. Addison suddenly stopped. She closed her eyes. Her body was trembling ever so slightly. The whole universe seemed to be frozen, nothing moved, no one blinked, and Derek had the urge to check his own pulse to ensure he was still breathing. Addison opened her eyes and spun on her heel, heading for the door. She grabbed the keys from the counter and Derek quickly stepped in her path.

"Get the fuck out of my way or I will move you myself." she hissed.

Derek looked into her eyes, they were glassy and he could hear her breathing getting heavy. He covered her hand with his own. Addison wrenched it from his grasp. She opened her mouth but Derek cut her off.

"You are in no shape to drive. Give me the keys." he said calmly, his voice betraying his true feelings.

"I'm angry Derek not drunk."

Her voice pierced the seemingly infinite silence.

"Yes Addison I understand that. But right not you might as well be drunk. You are not getting behind the wheel of a car. Hand me the keys before I take them off you myself." his voice got louder, harsh against his eyes that were so blue and soft and comforting.

"Addison. Do as your husband asks of you. Please. We could all use a break from the dramatics. I for one have a splitting headache from your ridiculous accusations already." Lillian pinched the bridge of her nose and sent her daughter a look.

"What the hell is the matter with you? Can I not call you up on your shit for once? Why should I do as my husband asked if never did anything yours did? You humiliated me. Actually, you seem to make it a mission in your life to humiliate me at every chance you get. I understand that you have a drinking problem. So you like a little vodka at obscure hours of the day. Big fucking deal. It's _your_ problem. Not mine. Not anyone else's, it's _yours. _What you can't seem to comprehend is that your problems and you choose to deal with them affect the rest of us. Every single one. Just because you're having a tough time staying sober doesn't mean you can broadcast the details of my _sex life_ to the neighbourhood tabloids. And by the way. I hate the term "love-making" or "making-love". I think it sounds cheesy and I just hate it. Maybe if you had taken some time the past to get to know me you would have remembered that. But you didn't. and I'm deeply sorry but it's a little bit late for that now. Just stay out of my life." she clamped her mouth shut as realised she must could have raised her pet hamster (who had met his untimely death with a bottle of coloured glue and matches when Addison was only eight) from the dead.

"Please." she finished, softly this time. She took a deep breath but she could still feel her heart pounding in her ears and her chest jumping like a spring.

The door to kitchen swung open once more and the hinge creaked slightly. A pair of broad shoulders topped by a devastatingly handsome face and salt and pepper greying hair stepped over the threshold into the Kitchen on Misery as Derek had not affectionately dubbed it.

"Hey ,babe, I could hear you screaming from my car what the hell is going on?"

"Babe?" Carmen asked incredulously.

Addison felt her blood run cold and she was sure her heart had stopped. Her stomach dropped to he feet, gluing her to the floor so she couldn't flee like she so desperately wanted to.

"Fuck it." she whispered suddenly, she shook herself out of her stupor and spun around, blasting through the back door like a cannonball and bolting across the garden.

Derek watched her. Frozen. Rooted the spot like an ancient tree.

Mark glanced around the by now far to crowded room and immediately headed for the door. Derek felt his blood boil upon seeing Mark once more. In her house. Calling her little pet names. Which he knew Addison wasn't a fan of. All he could see was Addison her fingers gripping the sheets and her head thrown back in pleasure while her knees hugged Mark's sides. Mark. With his hands all over his wife. Kissing her. Her neck her chest, trying to dip his head to kiss her breasts. Derek's fury exploded within him.

_Oh hell no. _

"You son of a bitch!" he yelled suddenly grabbing Mark by the arm he pinned him to the nearest wall. He kneed him the crotch and once Mark's head bent in pain Derek grabbed him by the short stubbly hair and smashed his face into his fist.

There was a sudden clambering over yelping dogs and unfortunately placed chairs.

Bob and Duncan managed to pull Derek away from his bleeding friend while Audrey and Carmen dragged Mark out from underneath the shuffling feet and scrambling dogs. Carmen, knowing the whole story, was incredibly tempted to just leave him on the floor. She'd never been Mark's biggest fan.

Derek shrugged out of Bob and Duncan's vice grip and glared down at Mark.

"Stay the hell away from my wife." he hissed.

Mark looked as if he'd just been slapped, which he practically had. "Man, she's not your wife anymore." he shook his head as he held a hand up to his bleeding nose.

Derek shook his head and ignored the pointed stares he was receiving from everyone. Including the dogs. He turned on his heel and barrelled through the back door.

"I hope your happy you ass wipe." Carmen slapped Mark upside the head before letting him fall back to the ground, taking Audrey with him.

"I'm ecstatic." Mark grumbled as Chewbacca and Skywalker started chewing the soles of his shoes.

_ooooo_

Her feet pounded a syncopated rhythm against the road. It seemed to match the drumming of her heart that was flinging itself at her chest. Her lungs were burning and it was times like these she was incredibly thankful to have only had that one cigarette when she was fourteen because she was pretty sure if that habit had stayed with her she would be in a heap in a ditch about fifty feet behind her frantic self. She wonders when she went past the point of furious to down right institutional. Roughly seven months ago when her then husband's then best friend was holding her too tight against his chest and whispering sweet things in her ear and she finally let the three quarter bottle of red wind she'd been downing every night she spent in her home alone take effect. At that thought the ache n her lungs travels to her shins and then around to her calves and she's forced to finally stop her adrenaline educed marathon. Her heart is beating so strongly in her ears she doesn't hear the squealing of breaks. She only hears an erratic thumping and then. Then, she hears him.

"Addison! Move!"

_What? Is he insane I just ran like twenty miles?_

She suddenly feels two warm strong arms wrap around her weary body and they are both flung to the other side of the road. She hears a sickening crack before darkness takes over.

_There's a feeling in them they never thought they were capable of feeling. Like floating two inches above shark infested waters and knowing you will always be safe. But at the same time feeling like someone is repeatedly punching you in the gut for every second you spend apart. _

_Absence makes the heart grow fonder. That old saying is most definitely true for this particular pair. Two weeks is plenty long. Long enough for the both of them to realise that the person they are separated from is the person they want to be with for as long as they can. It's not another fling. It's not another way to pass time and prove to your roommates you are neither gay nor a totally unsalvageable nerd. _

_He slides into her slowly, facing her face, partly because it's always a turn on and partly because he needs to know she can feel it too. He lets one hands rest on her hip, tilting them ever now and then when he can feel her thighs quiver and her breath hitch in the back of her throat. She takes his other hand and laces their fingers together, while the other five dive though his longish wavy hair pulling his lips back up to hers. Her mouth is hot and her tongue is like honey. Massaging against his in utter erotic sweetness. She lifts her long toned legs from the mattress to curl around his waist and Derek is amazed at how deep he can move into her when she spreads her legs and grips them around him. The hand on her waist moves down to her sex and he runs his fingers over her. _

_She rips her lips away from his and her inner muscles clench around him. He groans against the skin of her neck. Inhaling as much as his lungs can hold, which isn't much because his mind is only focusing one this. Her. Her body, her hair, now tangled in his right fist, her wetness smearing over his index and middle fingers of his left hand and the noise she makes before she brings her lips to his ear and bucks her hips against him. Pushing him deeper in her, desperate for him to push over the edge to the climax of the build-up that has her nearly seeing stars. "I'm coming." she breathes in is ear and moves her hands to grip his shoulders. Her nails dig deep into the sun dappled shoulders. He nips at the skin of her neck slightly before thrusting into her one final time. She groans loudly. Her body arches against his and her legs grip him as he finally lets himself go. He made a promise with himself to make sure she came first and the wait was nearly painful. But as the tidal waves of pleasure crash down onto of him, rendering him breathless and slack, he knows she is most definitely worth the wait. Addison whimpers slightly as the dizzying ecstasy takes over. Her eyes slip shut and her lips parting slightly, he quickly covers them with his own and she's way too far gone to respond so she merely sighs into his mouth. He has her. He could do whatever he wanted to her in this moment and she would gladly go along with it. Because nothing has ever felt as good as this moment. _

_Her body hums with the aftershocks as he gently slips out of her and settles his spent and sated body beside hers. She rolls onto her side and finds herself nose to nose with him. She smiles softly and kisses his lips softly, slowly. They have time. They have each other. _


	6. Chapter 6

-1_She heard a sickening crash before darkness took over. There was a pulsing. A steady drumming in her heart, her feet, her chest and her backside. A ream of questions sprinted across her mind. Where was she? Why was her mattress wrapped around her middle? How much did she drink last night?_

"_Addie, you think you can move?" _

_Addison lifted her head from where it had buried itself in Derek's neck. She moved around, her mind slipping into doctor mode for a minute to check she wasn't in any way seriously injured. She deemed herself physically fine and moved her arms from where they'd been pinned to her sides to his shoulders she attempted to push herself upwards. Derek groaned in pain and Addison dropped her hands. Successfully letting herself slam back down onto his body. _

"_Jesus Addison. This isn't a wrestling match." Derek hissed before pushing her off of him and dragging his tired bones into a sitting position. Addison glanced to the trodden earth he'd been lying on and saw the mangled remains of a thick tree branch shattered on the dust. Her face scrunched up as she imagined the discomfort inflicted upon Derek's back. The bitchy side of her smiled at his pain. The human side of her felt bad. _

"_What the hell happened?" she pondered curiously as Derek helped her to her feet. _

_He looked at her as if she'd just sprouted wings. _

"_Don't you think it should be me asking you those questions? You nearly got hit by a truck Addison! What the hell is the matter with you?" he had flown straight through concerned and worried and on to annoyed. _

"_Thanks." she murmured softly. _

_Derek sighed. When Addison actually sat back and took his drama queen crap he knew something was wrong. _

"_Well I was hardly going to let you turn into road kill." he said quietly, kicking a few broken twigs across the road. _

"_Why thank you Mr. Sensitive. I suppose if you never cared about my well being when we were married why the hell start now?" she hissed before spinning in her heel. _

_Derek grabbed her wrist and pulled her back to him. Not enough so he would hurt her, but enough so she'd stop running away. _

"_I just jumped in front of a massive moving vehicle for you Addison. You don't think that shows I care _

_about you?" he seethed, his eyes boring into hers. She turned her head she wouldn't have to see the look on his face. _

"_I was wondering where the hell the driver went." she muttered. _

_Derek spun around to see a short man hurrying towards them. After spending at least twenty minutes assuring him that they were fine, with just a few bumps and scratches, they managed to convince him to leave them get home themselves. They promised to be careful in future and plastered fake, reassuring smiles to their faces until they were out of his sight. _

"_Who drives a truck at a hundred miles an hour on a country road anyway?" _

"_I think the better question is who the hell stands in front of said truck." Derek's voice was laced with something Addison isn't sure she wants to be able to distinguish. _

"_You think I wanted to get knocked over?" Addison whispered, the hurt on her face is painful, but Derek is beyond believing what he sees. _

"_What am I supposed to believe Addison? You've been going insane since we got here. For all I know this was all part of some master plan you had to have Mark jump in front of the truck and whisk you away to New York!" Derek looked at her. She looked like she's been slapped. Her mouth opened as if she was going to say something but she snapped it closed. Not trusting herself to put into words the anger she felt. _

"_It always comes back to him doesn't it? Everything. Everything has to come to the fact that I slept with your best friend. This is all some big contest for you. This is just you and Mark once again having to compete with each other. This is just one big pissing contest for you! Well, guess what Derek? I'm not going to let you piss all over me again. I'm through with the two of you and all of your shit. Get over yourself Derek. You want to know why I slept with Mark? Fine. It was because YOU DIDN'T CARE. You were NEVER home. Every time you couldn't make it you sent Mark. Towards the end I don't even think you asked him. He didn't even know we had plans to begin with. You were constantly at work. You couldn't even LOOK AT ME. You made me feel like shit over and over Derek. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep in that fucking house alone anymore. I couldn't do it. It hurt too much. I felt like you I made you sick. And that made me sick." Derek was stunned, her looked at her beautiful face contorted in pain as she screamed at him. Hurling her truths and unspoken emotions at his heart. Shattering his strength with her tears. He reached forward and grabbed her hands, pulling them to rest on his chest, above his heart. He pulled her to him, enveloping her in his arms. She fought against his hold, muttering words that were muffled by his shirt. Finally she stopped and just melted into his arms. Her sobs easing into hiccups and finally small sniffles. She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. His blue orbs were glassy with unshed tears as he looked at her, piercing the wall she had built around her with his gaze. _

"_He, Derek, he- He made me feel alive again Derek. I know this hurts to hear but you have to know. I was dying. Suffocating inside my own body, in my own thoughts. I couldn't breathe Derek. He told me I could do it. He kept telling me things would be fine and I that I could pull through it. He held me and he kissed me and then. I didn't stop him Derek. I wanted to. I wanted it to be you. I needed it to be you who was holding me and helping me breathe again Derek. But it wasn't." her voice lowered to a whisper and Derek cut her off. Placing a finger on her lips he cupped her cheek in his hand. He lifted her face and met her gaze. She shook her head. No. _

_They couldn't just kiss and make up. There was too much pain. It couldn't work. They'd only push each other away again. _

"_Derek. No. I can't. We can't. This won't work." she pleaded with him. "Please don't break me again."_

_Derek soothed her. Rubbing circles across the small of her back, running his thumb across her cheek. _

"_If you don't want me just leave Addison. Walk away right now and don't come back. If you want to go with Mark and start fresh you do that. Just go now, don't make this harder than it's already become. Just go Addison." he whispered against her cheek. _

_Addison pulled back to look at him. _

"_I don't want him. I never have and I never will. Derek, you're the only one I wanted. It was you Derek. Why were so blind that you couldn't see that?" her voice was about to rise once more. _

_Derek shook his head and smiled softly. _

"_I just needed you to say it." he whispered before covering his lips with hers. _

The occupants of the kitchen raise their heads when the door swings forward on it's hinges. A few cursing themselves for not have siding with their mother just once and voted for a normal door. A door with the ability to be slammed. Lillian looked around the room which was full enough for two dogs to be on laps and one teenager to be preening herself on the counter. She clears her throat noisily and ignores her eldest son's mutterings of protest. It's more to prepare herself and add to the liquid courage developed by the martini she just threw back while running her fingers over the ivory keys then to actually clear her throat. Her gaze lands on her eldest daughter who immediately stands and makes to move herself from the room. Her husband quickly stands up from his chair, sending Chewbacca flailing to a soft landing on a pile of socks beneath his feet. Derek quickly takes hold of Addison's elbows and looks into her eyes. A flicker of coldness passes through her features before she sighs. Derek smiles slightly and sits down in the chair, tugging at her hips until she complies and sits in his lap. Bending down to cuddle Chewy into her arms. The dog gives a small _humph _of comfort and yawns. Addison wriggles her hips so she slides further back towards Derek's chest and tilts her head back to receive a kiss on her lips that lasts long enough so everyone in the room either feels uncomfortable or jealous. Addison pulls away and looks up at her mother. Daring her to say something. Lillian casts her eyes wearily over the dark bruise on Derek's forearm and her eyes pierce through to the ones she knows speckle his back. She draws in a deep breathe just as Caroline moves to waddle towards the bathroom.

"No. You can't leave yet." she snaps suddenly. She's worked herself up for this and she'll be damned if some pregnant gold-digger will rob her of this moment of clarity.

Caroline sighs and sits back into her chair.

Audrey looks up from the cross word she and Jeff had been working on and raises her eyebrows at the determined look on her mother's face. She nudges Carmen excitedly.

"Look, she's serious."

The rest of the group look up and are slightly taken aback. Lillian raises her hands to her hips.

"We're going to church. All of us. No matter how far you've, _strayed_, from the ideals they express you are going and that's final." she watches the expressions of her children and their significant others. There is an unnerving silence that ripples through the room. A sudden squeal of delight causes everyone to do a double take.

"Mommy!" a sudden explosion of dark and copper hair barrels through the back door and lunges for the very pregnant Caroline. Duncan stands up and does a good job of intercepting the two fireballs.

"We missed you." the twins offer in excited unison wrapping their arms around their dad's neck.

"She's being ridiculous. One trip to church is not going to cure her of her sins. She, would need the pope and all his helpers for that. I don't why she thinks she can pull this holier then thou crap. Oh my God, you don't think-"

"Addison!" Derek finally got her to shut up. She clamped her lips together and finished matching two more neon pink socks together. Derek tossed a baby pink one dotted with fluffy white sheep at her head and couldn't help but laugh at her expression. She stuck her bottom lip out and gave him those puppy dog eyes.

"I'm serious Derek," she continued dropping the cute expression and turning serious. "She's a crafty old hag. She has ways, connections. You don't think she knows about. You know." Addison wiggled her eyebrows and lowered her voice.

Derek swallowed and glanced around the now deserted kitchen. "No Addison I don't think you're mother knows about your affair with Mark. Or my affair with an intern. Or the fact that we're divorced. You'd think if she knew that she'd be steering us away from the church anyway. We'll probably be burned at the stake or something."

"Knowing her that's probably her master plan." Addison muttered darkly. She glanced up at Derek. His face was dark with an unreadable expression fixed to it. Except, she could read it. He was mad. She knew he had a lot of different reasons to be mad but, she couldn't help but think she was the reason he looked like he could take an axe to a grand piano. Her mind raced with a thousand ways in which the next twenty seconds could play out. She went with the very final, most risky option.

"Derek." she whispered softly. He looked up and was met with her swirling blue orbs staring back at him. He wanted to push her away. Stop her from looking at him like that. Looking straight through him and knowing exactly how he felt. It wasn't that she could read his mind. That at one point they had been so in love that they knew just what the other was thinking, it was just simple familiarity. Being with a person for so long can lead you to grow accustomed to the different looks and tones of voice they hold to their name. Being married to someone that sense of familiarity grows until you feel like the other person has become hard-wired to you. Become a part of you. Like a vital organ. Your brain, your kidney. Your _heart._ Unfortunately for them, the wires that held them together had been pulled and stretched and left out in the rain for too long. Lingering in the damp for the other person to come home and relieve them of the ache that was their union being wrenched apart with such force it left them both dazed and reeling when they finally were separated. Looking into her eyes right then brought all of those feelings bubbling to the surface once more. Not because he hated her. He didn't hate her. He wasn't sure he ever could. How could you hate someone who held a part of you so vital that all it would take would be for her to simply prick it with a nail and he would be left on the floor. Struggling to breathe, leaking blood. Eventually dying out. No, when he looked into her eyes the pain scorched through him because he knew she felt every single contraction of pain that he did.

He leaned closer to her. Closer and closer. He dropped the odd socks from his grip and moved his hands to her face. Carefully cupping her cheeks in his palms. Closer and closer. She moved her body towards him. Bringing her hands to rest on his chest she looked into his baby blues.

"Addison. I-. I don't.." he started to speak but he didn't even know what it was he wanted to say. He only knew what he felt. What he felt was blinding and intense. What he felt was.. It was her. He needed her, closer. That was what he felt. He'd always been taught to say what he felt. Use his words.

"Closer." he breathed gently, still holding her face in his hands. Addison merely nodded. She moved one hand to his face and ran her thumb softly over his lips. She let it fall to the back of his neck, reaching her fingers up into the curls at the base of his neck. Closer and closer. They inched towards each other with a painful slowness. She let her eyes fall closed as he tilted her chin in his hand. Caressing her cheek with his thumb. She could felt his heart beating rapidly beneath her palm. Her breath was hot but soothing against his skin. Closer and closer. He moved his other hand to cup the back of her head and finally brought her lips crashing against his. It was hungry and desperate and they needed more. They needed more closeness. He moved his palm from cupping her cheek down along her body to the back of her thighs. She gracefully lifted her leg up and hooked it around his waist. He grabbed the other to bring it up and settled her on the table, her legs linked around his hips. She linked her arms around his neck as he tilted her head back and deepened the kiss. Their tongues duelling.

"Do not do that on the table. People have to eat off that." Dior and Jeff suddenly enter the kitchen making as much noise as they can.

Addison and Derek pulled apart sheepishly and Derek helped her down from the table. Addison hurriedly made her way to the sink avoiding eye contact with everyone and wiping her kiss swollen lips self consciously.

Dior looked at Derek curiously but Derek quickly ducked his head down and started searching for something beneath the piles of matched and unmatched socks.

_What you're looking for is not under here is it?_ Derek shook his head to clear away the nagging thoughts. A shrill jingling cuts through the uneasy room.

"It's yours." Addison announced holding out Derek's sleek black cell phone. He nods and takes it from her hand. Hesitating slightly before dropping a kiss on her cheek.

Dior steals a quick conferring look with Jeff who merely held up his hands and mouths "_she__'__s your sister__"__._

"Addison. What the hell is wrong with you?" Dior asks. Jeff rolls his eyes and lets his head fall into his hands.

Addison turned to face her brother and arched an eyebrow. Dior shrugged his shoulders. He had never been one to beat around the bush.

There's a steady rhythm as three sets of very expensive heels clack against the marble floor. Looking around now everything seems much smaller. It feels as though you've become Alice as she steps through the door to the world where she is a giant and everything else is miniscule in comparison. Addison feels a hand reach for hers as the herd of them are shepherded through the great expanse of hard wood pews and stained glass windows. She always thought they seemed kind of cheap. Not life-giving and awe inspiring, pretty maybe, but not exactly the wonder that everyone makes them out to be. She ignored the hand and focused on keeping her strides steady, her breathing level and her emotional torment under wraps. As they near the wide alter the feeling of being a giant in a hobbit's cottage evaporates and leaves her feeling naked and alone.

Father Greene ushers the family to their seats which are formed in a circle. One for each of them. As she lowers herself into her seat she catches Dior's eye. He holds her gaze for a minute before shaking his head with an audible sigh.

As they all settle themselves Carmen, ever the smart ass, raised her hand. Fr. Greene nodded in her direction with a wide smile and invited her to speak.

"I don't believe in God. I hate my mother because she abandoned me. I drink, smoke and tried pot before but I don't like it. I recognise I've made many mistakes in my life but I assure you that my self-destructive days are long gone. Can I leave now?" she smiled innocently as her brothers and sisters broke into a quick round of applause.

Bob shook his head and silently pleaded with his kids to shut up.

"You forgot to mention how you lost your virginity with one of the alter boys in the back of Dad's BMW." Audrey snorted.

Carmen shot her a look. "No, I think if you remember correctly that was you."

Fr. Greene cleared his throat, sensing that something would erupt if he doesn't do something fast.

"Ok. Listen here for a second." that seems to do the trick. He glances around the circle and sees everyone looking back at him. It's a little unnerving. He takes a deep breath and continues.

"Your mother asked me to help her out. She told me she wanted to understand what was going on in her family's head. She didn't want to ship you all off to some psychiatrist, so she turned to me. I was more than happy to oblige. I know I may not know all of you very well. I do remember a few of you growing up. But lets forget about that now." he sent Addison a warm smile. She squirms in her seat slightly. A move not gone unnoticed by Derek who caught the eyes of the young priest and glared.

"So, Lillian, why don't you start." he sees the apprehension dawning on the woman's face and gives her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Why did you bring your family here today?"

"Because Al Anon kicked us out." Aubrey spits bitterly.

Lillian shakes her head and keeps her gaze firmly fixed on the crucifix staring down at them.

"I wanted us all to be here because, well, because I'm sick of being treated like crap." she looked up and saw eleven pairs of eyes staring at her in disbelief.

Addison stood up and moved to back out of the circle. "I'm done. With you and all your shit. I'm finished." she declared quietly.

"Addie-" Derek begins.

"NO. No Derek. Not this time. You don't get to just say something sweet and let me believe everything will work out. It doesn't work out. Not with me anyway. Things are not that simple. I wish they were. God I, I wish things were as clean cut and sterile as in the OR but they're not. Once we put down that shiny little scalpel everything around us goes to crap. I can't. I don't, it's too hard. I can't, I'm not strong enough for this. Not again Derek."

Fr. Greene opens his mouth to speak but Bob makes a silencing motion.

Derek looks at the woman standing before him. There is no worse image for Derek than to see this woman cry. There was a time not so long ago when he wouldn't have cared, but now, something in him has clicked. He can't stand to see her in pain any longer. He feels a passion in him to take away her pain.

"Addison. I know. I know how much this hurts. If you ever thought I forgot that or I didn't feel it your wrong because I did. I do. I feel every single ounce Addison. I could never forget it. Even if I wanted to I couldn't. Every time I look in your eyes I see it. You hide well Addison but you can't hide it from the person who's looking to hide theirs too. We're doctors Addison. Surgeons. The best in our fields. Hell, we're recognised all around the world for our skill. Our job is to heal people. Take away pain. Treat it and then make it disappear. Doctor's make the worst patients Add." he finished lamely.

"I thought you were going to have a big finish there." Addison said quietly. She looked up from her feet and a tiny smile appeared on her lips.

Derek let out a sigh of relief and sat back down in his chair as she filled the void left in the chair beside him.

"That's. Well, that was certainly something. But this pain that you both are talking about. Is it in reference to your mother's drinking Addison? Or is it perhaps something else you would like to share?" Fr. Greene pries, he doesn't intend to pry, but for the next hour or so it's his calling, some might say his vocation even. That and the fact Lillian suggested she might throw in a few hundred dollars if he could put up with her insane family for an hour.

Addison looked up and her fierce gaze meets his soft one. She doesn't say anything. Just looks at him. He feels himself get a little nervous from the sheer force of those blue eyes.

"Addison and Derek. They, they lost a child. Four years ago. They lost a child." Dior stated calmly. He looks over at his sister and silent look of thanks is passed between them.

"Oh, well, was it a-"

"I don't want to talk about it." Addison cut him off, staring him down with those eyes again.

"Derek would you like to-"

"No. This is about Addison's family. Not us." Derek replies coolly. Fr. Greene can't help but feel like he's missing something more. Like there's a bigger picture but he's only tall enough to see the bottom half.

"But still. I'm sure something like that would affect the whole family." he begins tentatively.

"We said. We _don__'__t _want to talk about it." Addison says, her voice raises slightly and sends chills down the priest's spine. He doesn't understand how the rest of them can be unaffected by her sheer power.

Addison let's her head drop into her hands and lets a heavy sigh escape her lips. She's exhausted. She had never expected things to come to this. Looking back on the events of the past few days she's come to the conclusion that her family are either monumentally stupid or deaf. Either one would fit the criteria. Her mother's insane idea that the whole family should go to church and have a little heart to heart had backfired miserably and now she was currently drowning her sorrows at the neighbours house, who happened to be Addison's aunts house. Addison liked her aunt, a lot. She just didn't like the fact that her aunt could somehow make everything her mother said and did rational. It was a rare gift and Addison supposed it was only given to one member of every family.

Family. Hers is loud, overbearing and ridiculous. It was also huge and everyone was too close together. She was glad of the thee thousand miles she had placed between them by going to Seattle. At least that way they hadn't been there to see the dissolution of her sham of a marriage. Speaking of which, she wanted to kill Mark.

He knew.

He _knew_ exactly what Addison and Derek were doing out here. She thought he had that tiny bit of decency left in him. But it turns out he left it on the panties of the last scrub nurse he bedded. What in the world made her think she had it in her to change him. She sighs once more. It's not worth thinking about right now. Right now, she needs to just, breathe, breathe in and out and have just five minutes to herself. Five minutes where she can just pretend her life is fine and she didn't nearly get hit by a truck yesterday. That her ex-husband hadn't suddenly realised that he was in love with her. That she hadn't let herself slip to the plateau where it was very possible that she could let herself fall in love with him again. She loved Derek. She also would. She knew that, it couldn't be avoided. She knew that Derek loved her. Although he had infuriating ways of showing it, she knew he did. They knew the love was there. But they didn't know if they had it in them to be in love again. The last time, they'd ended up shattered into a million sobbing pieces on opposite sides of the country. She sighed once more and hugged her knees up to her chest.

"That was a big sigh." a familiar voice cuts through the blissful silence Addison had managed to find herself.

Addison turned around and smiled gently at her brother as he squatted down in the dirt beside her. He took in her dishevelled appearance and shook his head sadly. He reached out and draped an arm across her shoulders.

"This is why me and Dad were so harsh with that first boy you brought home. What was his name again? Snoopy? Sammy?"

"Skippy." Addison muttered, she rolled her eyes at herself. Skippy Gold. She thought she'd left that part of her life behind. If only back then she'd been able to see her future. She would've just become a nun. Then again, if her life had gone down that route she would've ended up living and working in close quarters with Father Greene. She shuddered at the thought.

"Right, Skippy. I'm not going to lie to you Add, he was weird. I mean, I'm pretty sure he's the kind of kid whose head my kids would be flushing down the toilet in middle school."

"You really want to bring up kids? Now of all times?" Addison asked dryly.

Duncan sighed heavily. He hated this part of the big-brother job. He wished it were as simple as his day job. Not that his day job was easy, not by any means. At least then when he gave the sweet little redhead girls a hug, a band aid and a lolly pop he was nearly always certain that they would be perfectly safe and happy until the next flu season rolled around. But with his sister. Things were slightly more difficult. The world just seemed to continuously be hurling crap at her. He wanted to make himself a wall and protect her when ever she needed. He wanted things to go back to when they were kids. Back when he would be the one who would make her cry. Because at least back then he knew exactly what it was that had upset her and how he could fix it when he sniffles coming from the hot linen closet got to annoying any time he passed on the way to the bathroom upstairs.

"No. I don't, I really, really don't. Kids are messy. Really messy. I mean, when we were kids we were at least capable of washing our hands. Kids these days are like animals. Kind of like your husband and his best friend." Duncan gave her a small nudge, not trusting his words to hint at what he wanted to talk to her about.

"That's because Dad was a surgeon. We always wanted to be like him. We used to pretend we were surgeons just like him. We'd pretend we were scrubbing in on surgery. We'd try and perform appendectomies on our chicken fingers. Or hollow out our carrots and use them as shunts." Addison mused wistfully. She'd known from a young age what she wanted to do when she was older.

"Your avoiding what I want to talk about Addison. Mark and Derek had an honest to god no holds barred fisty cuffs in the kitchen. Then you nearly got hit by a truck. I know our family is a little of there." Addison snorted at that. "Ok fine, a lot out there. But you were always the semi-normal one. You held the candle to what we could achieve if kept our two feet planted on the ground. So, tell me, why did I have to physically kick that pompous ass out of our house. Why was he even here anyway?" Duncan was sick of dancing around the elephant in the room. Time to do what the Montgomery's did best, be blunt and forward. He watched his sister's face. She furrowed her brow, a tell tale sign she was thinking intently. She opened her mouth then closed it again.

"Come on Nemo spit it out." he encouraged.

Addison sent him one of her looks. "Did you just call me a fish?"

Duncan shrugged. "Well, he had orange gills, if the shoe fits…"

Duncan received a slap in the chest for his stab at humour. She pushed his sister over and proceeded to tickle her sides. She wriggled out of his grasp.

"Uncle! Uncle." Addison panted as she pulled herself up into a sitting position.

"I knew it was you who told Derek about where I was ticklish." Addison muttered.

Duncan brushed a few leaves out of his lap and glanced around the Orchard. He smiled to himself when he spotted the raised patch of earth where they had buried a time capsule in the summer when he was ten and it was too hot to walk into the town and bother people with his friends.

"You still haven't answered my question. I'm not Dior, you can't distract me and hope I forget."

"Elephants never forget." Addison smirked as her brother rolled his eyes. The smile died away when she realised she was going to have to say something.

"Honestly. I don't know. I mean. I know why. I just. It's hard you know. Life is hard. It's complicated and it's heartbreaking and it hurts. Some days it physically hurts. I don't know what I'm doing. Sometimes I wonder what I'm even doing. If this is how I wanted my life to turn out. I know that parts of it are definitely not what I ever wanted. The rest, I don't know."

"Well. Tell me one thing that you know for sure. Just one. Tell me one and I'll make sure you don't get stuck making anymore impromptu speeches at our darling sister's wedding."

Addison looked up at her older brother, there was sparkle in her eyes that Duncan was sure he'd never seen in anyone before. He had been certain up until that point that people's eyes didn't sparkle. Maybe they got a little shiny when people were trying not to cry. But right then, in that moment, Addison's eyes actually seemed to sparkle. Twinkle even. He was clearly spending too much time with his brother.

"Derek. Derek is the guy. He's the guy." she smiled happily and quickly leaned over a placed a kiss on her brothers cheek. She dusted herself off and rose to her feet.

"Thank you. For throwing Mark out. And for making me think." she winked at him over her shoulder before she took off at a jog in the direction of the house.

Duncan just shook his head and flopped back on the sweet smelling grass. He allowed his eyes to close and was half way towards a blissful sleep beneath the warm Spring sun when there was a sudden shuffling and the sound of innocent footsteps around his head. He cracked one eye open and was greeted with the impish face of his youngest daughter. He patted the space next to him and she giggled a little before curling into his side. Chewbacca, the ever present white west highland terrier, clambered onto his stomach and curled into a ball.

"Me and Chewy were looking for Aunt Addie. But we couldn't find her, so then Chewy decided he wanted to watch the clouds." Amber whispered quietly as the warm breeze ruffled her copper hair, lifting her thick fringe in the air momentarily. Duncan smiled down at his daughter and hugged her a little closer.

"I want to be like Addie when I grow up." she smiled confidently.

Duncan mused this over for a moment. "Make sure you tell her that soon someday Scruffy. Promise?"

"I promise Daddy. Cross my heart and hope to die, I'll even stick a poodle in my eye." Amber laughed as her dad screwed his face into an ogre like expression.

"Don't do that. Your mom will have kittens."

"I thought the stork put the baby boy in her tummy?" Amber propped herself up on one elbow and fixed her father with a curious look.

Derek dialled the number of his twin sister as he stole a glance down the hallway. Carmen and Aubrey were talking excitedly about Aubrey's bachelorette party that had taken place the night before. Derek's head was still pounding slightly from James's, Aubrey's future husband, party. He shook his head as he pushed the door shut and pressed the green dial button.

Nancy picked up after three rings.

"Nancy Shepherd."

"Hey Nance, it's me. Your brother. You might remember me from that time you broke into my home while I was showering and then proceeded to convince Meredith that I was a man whore."

"Oh get over yourself Dweebis. Your "home" is nothing more than a glorified tin can. And besides, someone needed to teach that sluttish intern a lesson. I was merely providing a service. I cleared things up for her afterwards anyway.."

"It's a top of the line _Airstream_, it even has heating."

"In case you didn't hear that, I just rolled my eyes. Now, as much as do love our friendly banter, to what do I owe this pleasure Dweebis?"

"Quit calling me that. I'm just returning your twenty something phone calls. I'm being polite. You should try it sometime. Although, hell might freeze over, so you should call Addison a couple of days in advance. So she can, you know, move all her flames and chains elsewhere."

"So your calling her Satan again. That's funny. I didn't think there'd be any time for the two of you to discuss pet names seeing as you look way to busy sticking your tongue down her throat. Seriously? Get a room for Christ sakes. Don't her family own a hotel by now anyway?"

"Her mom's family own a resort in Italy, London and someplace in Ireland."

"Oh, my apologies. Thanks for calling to let me know your on this side of the continent again by the way. So, are you going to tell me about it or do I need to call Kathleen and have her analyze these photos for herself?"

"How did you even get them? That's really creepy Nancy, even for you."

"We're twins. What you see I see, when you have an orgasm I… well, I projectile vomit because that's just weird and we're doctors so we know better than that."

"You dug yourself a hole with that one."

"Shut up and answer my question before I drive over there and smack you upside the head."

"I… I don't know Nancy. Things are strange here. You know that as well as I do. I'm pretty sure I remember seeing you at the wedding. You know how whacked things get when her family are around."

"Derek sweetie, for once, you can't blame this on her family. The two of you are so whacked anyway if you were to get whacked anymore it would only be back into place. Unless of course Addison is back to her old self and whacks you across the face like you deserve."

"Stop saying whacked I feel like I'm on the phone with the mob."

"Eh. What can I say, I have a thing for canolies."

"People are turning in their graves Nancy stop. Right now."

"Ok fine. So. Audrey sent me the pictures, she got some photographer your former mother-in-law hired for the night to take a few extras. Smart girl. Slutty, but smart."

"All of you people are insane. Every last one."

"You people? You mean us with the vaginas right?"

"This conversation is so strange."

"Vagina! Sorry. Back to the point. You and Addison were getting all hot and heavy the night before last. What's going on Derek? I mean, I'm happy for the two of you. Happier than I should be, but I still want to know what prompted this turn around. Last time I saw the two of you she was heart broken and fighting off a retarded Loser, who I heard is now sporting a serious eye patch and headed back to Washington with is tail between his legs, and you were all gooey over the pre-pubescent blond."

"We… it's… It's a long story Nance."

"I have time Derek. You know that. You wouldn't have called if you didn't."

"I don't know what happened. I just. Something clicked at some point. Then she was right next to me, looking like she does and she was so close and she smelled good and I just needed to kiss her. And then, I don't know, things escalated. She nearly got hit by a truck, we went to church. I made her feel like shit. Over and over Nance. I made her think I didn't love her. Or Lily. She was so alone. I just couldn't look at her. And now, now I can't stand that she feels like crap. I don't want her to cry anymore Nancy! I need to make her safe. I need her to know that she, she's it. She's it for me. There's been a lot of girls Nancy but she's…. she's _that_ girl. Why? Why did I forget that? How did I forget that Nancy? _Why did she let me?"_

"Whoa Derek. Relax sweetie. Breathe for me now. Ok, look, I'm not a shrink. I don't know human emotions. I barely know what the hell goes on inside my body and I'm a doctor. But I do know you. And I know how much you love Addison. Your hurting right now, and so is she. I'm not even going to get into half of the things you just brought up but Derek, you need to see this through. You had a chance before, and you messed up. You lost her once Derek, and it was because you chose to. It seems to me like you've found her again, you just need to trust yourself. You know you love her-"

"What if love isn't enough? What do I do then?"

"…you fight like hell for that love Derek."

Someone cleared their throat in the door way and Derek spun around on the bed. Addison was standing there, hands behind her back as she leaned against the door with her ankles crossed. She smiled gently at him and pushed herself off the door. She toed out of her shoes and padded across the carpet to him, she slipped behind him on the bed. Sitting up in her knees she wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his neck, nuzzling her face into her spot. Right at the crook of his neck, she'd claimed it as hers in the early stages of their relationship and the feel of her soft breath against the skin there was always a source of comfort for Derek.

"Listen Nancy, I'm glad you called. I got to let you go right now, something just came up. I'll talk to you soon though, give the girls and Ben my love ok."

"Of course. Oh, and Derek, tell Addison I said hey, that I love her and she better get that toned ass of hers over here with leftover wedding cake before the two of you head back to the Land of Constant Precipitation."

Derek laughed and ending the call. He nodded in response when Addison asked if everything was ok because her dad heard him ranting from down the hall and sent her to make sure he was alright. She pressed gentle kisses along his jaw until he turned his head and joined his lips with hers. He shifted his body around and pushed he down on the bed gently. She ran her hands up and down his strong arms and smiled up at him softly before pressing her lips against his own. His tongue glided past her lips and she arched her body off the bed. He took the opportunity to encircle her in his arms. They pulled back from the kiss and Derek nuzzled his face into her neck as she dropped kisses to the top of his head.

"I feel really good right here. Lets never move." Derek mumbled against her silky soft skin.


	7. Chapter 7

-1Addison let her eyes wonder over the slightly muscular back in front of her. It gave her a sense of relief to know that Derek hadn't changed too much. Aside from the painful looking purple and dark blue bruises clouding his shoulder blades and the angry red scrapes from where the tree branch had dug into his skin, his body was almost identical to how she remembered it. Derek wasn't as built as Mark, but it didn't mean he was any weaker. Addison couldn't deny the sense of security she found when she was encircled in Derek's arms. His hold was strong, but not overpowering.

Addison rose from the bed and closed the distance between them. She wrapped her arms around his waist and let her forehead rest against the skin between his shoulder blades.

"Come back to bed." she murmured against his skin. He was still slightly damp from the shower, his skin was warm and inviting. She managed to pull herself away from him and padded back to the bed.

Derek followed her over and sank down beside her. Smiling when she shifted closer to him.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for the wedding. Your sister will freak out if your late." he muttered quietly. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. He breathed in her scent and hugged her body to him. She smelt like home.

"She can freak out all she wants, I refuse to get out of bed at five thirty for _her _wedding. Why were you up anyway?" her voice was muffled and he could feel her lips move against his chest.

"Couldn't get back to sleep. You rolled over and I was too cold." he yawned.

Addison lifted her head a little and looked into his eyes. She moved away from him and scooted back against the headboard. He buried his head in a pillow and ran a hand aimlessly up and down her thigh. She caught his hand and laced her fingers through his.

"Does it hurt?" she whispered quietly.

Derek was about to respond when he felt her move around the bed so her legs were on either side of his body and her hands were roaming around his back. Her touch was feather light, her fingertips cool and comforting.

She lowered her lips and he could feel her breathing against his neck. She traced slow circles up either side of his spine. Her fingertips moving gracefully over his tired muscles. He winced slightly when her hands glided over the harsh bruises. She breathed a quiet sorry against his neck and softened her touch even more. He wasn't even aware people could be touched this gently. She traced the dark purple bruise on his left shoulder blade with her thumb. Keeping her touch painfully slow. She reached up with her right hand and uncurled his right hand from around the pillow case. She laced her fingers with his and squeezed them softly. As she tenderly massaged his sore skin she began placing whisper like kisses down the base of his neck to his spine.

She kissed softly all the way down to the curve of his back. Her hands still moving in feather soft circles over his shoulders. She moved her lips back up to where the ugly red scratches pierced his smooth skin. She took in a shaky breath and moved her fingers back up to lace with his and held them tightly. She slowing started to trace the harsh scarlet marks with her lips.

Derek lifted his head when he felt tiny droplets of moisture fall against his skin. He squeezed her fingers when she shook her head.

She continued tracing his bruises and cuts with her fingertips and planting soothing kisses all over his shoulders, neck and back until the unmistakeable sound of a contorted sob pierced the comfortable silence the room was bathed in.

Derek rolled over quickly as Addison sat up, folding her legs underneath her. Her sad eyes looked up at him and Derek swallowed a lump in his throat at the sight of her tear stained face.

He promptly reached forward and gathered her in his arms. Soothing her gently as she cried into his chest. He stroked her hair and rubbed slow circles in the small of her back.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Derek." she repeated over and over, shaking her head.

"Addison. Addison stop. Please. Stop crying. I'm fine. Look at me. I'm alright. Look at me Addie."

She lifted her face to look into his deep blue eyes. Clouded with worry and glazed with unshed tears. He was strong. He wouldn't cry in front of her if he could help it.

She sniffled quietly and lifted her gaze up to meet his again. She tilted her face upwards and kissed him firmly on the mouth. She wrapped her arms around his neck and Derek lowered them back onto the mattress.

He flipped them over gently and cupped her face in his hands. Running his thumbs softly over her cheeks and kissing her forehead. He looked into her eyes and she nodded silently.

"I love you." he whispered, not giving her time to respond before he covered her lips with his.

"Oh holy crap."

"What? What's wrong now?" Lillian exclaimed rushing toward her second eldest daughter, sloshing a few drops of gin on the white priest's robes draped over the garishly coloured couch situated in the middle of the vestry. It was old, heavy and had succeeded in it's mission to give everyone who had walked in or out of the vestry a bruised toe of some kind.

Addison, Audrey and their sister's other bridesmaids rolled their eyes. In the last three hours alone there had been seven different emergencies. It was becoming clear to the wedding party that once Audrey and Duncan had been sent to the nearest Starbucks that Aubrey's definition of an emergency was slightly different to the rest of the free world.

"I'm getting married. I'm going to be someone's wife. Oh. Sweet shit on a frying pan-"

"Aubrey. Can you please not speak like that in the house of God." Lillian hissed as she fussed with her daughter's veil.

Audrey snorted and gave her mother a 'give it up' look. Lillian glared over at her before sipping from her tumbler of gin once more.

There was a knock at the door and all eight women turned to look. A head of dirty blond hair appeared in the doorway. The sparkling green eyes though were covered by a masculine hand and a pair of pale lips were curved in an apologetic smile.

"Nick! Get out. Your not supposed to be here before the actual wedding. It's bad luck." Aubrey shouted as she dashed behind the large free standing mirror.

"And having an alcoholic and an adulteress in the room are purely good luck." Carmen whispered in Addison's ear. Addison glowered at her and stood up to get rid of Nick before her sister drew blood.

She smiled gently at the poor man as she closed the door gently behind her. Her sister's screeches still audible in the hallway.

"What's up?" she asked faking cheeriness.

Nick swallowed and bit his bottom lip nervously. He glanced warily at the large oak door over Addison's shoulder. Addison sensed the younger man's nerves and patted his shoulder in what she hoped was a reassuring manner.

"One of my groomsmen couldn't make it. And Aubrey needs everything to be perfect. That includes us having equal amounts of people…and I don't want her to freak out even more. I don't know what I can do. How am I supposed to tell her. I can't. I feel like such a pussy. I mean- shit.." Nick broke off, his cheeks flushing as he avoided Addison's eyes.

Addison sighed as she willed her brain to click into action to give her a plan. One which didn't involve her sister screaming. She spotted a familiar head of thick, dark wavy hair strolling towards the pews. She silently congratulated herself and smiled warmly at the sweating man before her.

"Don't worry. I'll sort it out for you. You just go wait at that alter and Aubrey will be delivered safely to you. I promise you everything will work out just fine. Now, if you'll excuse me. I have a groomsman to catch. Oh, and you might want to borrow someone's hanky or something." she gestured meekly towards the man's face before lifting up the end up her green bridesmaids dress. She had to admit it was a nice colour. It would look a lot better had the skirt not been bunched around her knees as she ran towards the front of the church where her father was speaking in hushed tones to Derek and Dior.

Heads whipped around as she sprinted up the aisle. Her long auburn locks flowing in gentle waves between her shoulder blades. She skidded to a stop in front of the trio and gave a quick smile.

"Don't worry everything's fine. I just need to steal Derek for a while. I'll see you when the music starts." she gave them a quick wink before curling her fingers around Derek's forearm and steering him away.

"What the hell are you doing?" Derek hissed as Addison flashed a smile to an elderly aunt before shutting the large dark wood doors at the back of the church.

"You are now a groomsman. In about three minutes you'll walk back up that aisle with me and go stand beside Dior. Smile and look good. That's all I ask. Please." Addison nodded at him and raised a curious eyebrow.

His eyes shot open wide and his jaw dropped slightly when the clogs in his head starting to tick over.

"Your drunk." he exclaimed, a devious grin lighting up his features.

Addison squashed her lips together and willed herself to not sway so much. Without warning she suddenly erupted into hushed giggles. After a few moments she managed to compose herself as she leaned against Derek's side.

"OK so maybe I am. If you had to put up with my consistently drunk mother and my neurotic sister you would be too." she muttered.

The door to the vestry suddenly opened as the doors to the main church were forced apart.

"Lets get this show on the road then shall we?" Bob asked smiling warmly.

There was some shuffling, laughing, glaring and finally everyone was assembled in their correct positions as the wedding march echoed through the ears of the congregation.

Addison glanced over at Derek as the priest began the ceremony and sent him a seductive wink. Unfortunately, she was a clumsy drunk and nearly feel sideways onto Audrey, who merely laughed quietly and pushed her back upright. Derek shook his head and winked back at Addison, trying to ignore the vibrating in his pocket.

Addison smiled warmly at the cute looking bartender. Letting her hand cover his briefly as she took her dirty vodka martini from him. The young blond laughed and blushed gently. He opened his mouth as he wracked his brain for something to say but Addison beat him to it.

"Look sweetie. Your really sweet and you look like you'd be great for a quickie in the restrooms but I'm not that drunk yet. You a make mean Dirty Martini too. Your mom should be proud. Tell her that when you get home." Addison smirked and leaned over, kissing the boy briefly on the cheek before she made to saunter back to her table. Derek, who had been watching from a distance rolled his eyes and quickly stepped into her path.

"Hey there booze hound. How's the view from there? Blurry?" Derek smirked at her as she screwed her face up and tried her best to glare at him.

"I'm not that drunk. I've had a martini. One. Get off your high horse. " Addison slurred slightly. She popped the olive into her mouth and made to step around Derek.

Derek grabbed her elbow, careful not to end up with vodka all over the one pair of nice dress pants he brought with him.

"You had about 5 Mimosas at breakfast Add, plus all the free champagne. And the beer. You hold your alcohol well Addie but not on an empty stomach. Hang on and I won't let you fall, or do something ridiculous with the twelve year old behind the bar.. Don't forget the whole reason I'm here in the first place. We're supposedly still married. It makes us look bad when you go kissing the bartender." Derek nodded briefly in the direction of the bar, which was now catering to the needs of Lillian Forbes-Montgomery, also known as Moby Dick.

"I'm fine. But I'm walking with you anyway." she pouted, linking her arm through his and allowing Derek to lead her back to a table to enjoy her martini in peace.

After the initial drunken state had worn away slightly and Addison was sure she had, had more water than a sea lion to drink, Addison scooted her chair towards Derek slightly and ran her hand along his leg.

Derek smiled gently at her trying to keep the conversation with Caroline somewhat flowing. Addison was persistent in her ministrations and Derek was forced to pull her hand away and on to his lap. Caroline eyed the two curiously before she excused herself and waddled off towards the bathrooms.

Addison grinned up at Derek through thick dark lashes. Derek smiled and quickly swallowed the last of his scotch before standing and pulling Addison to her feet.

They made their way towards the crowded dance floor. Derek wound his arms around Addison's hips and pulled her warm body closer to his. Addison grinned and captured his lips between her own. Tugging at them gently before she curled her fingers in his dark locks. Derek pushed his tongue past her lips. Massaging it against his own and running his hands up and down her sides.

Addison pulled away from the kiss breathlessly and smiled slowly at him. She moved her lips right beside his ear, nipping at his earlobe gently as she wound her arms around his neck.

He could barely hear her voice above the rousing din of the music but when he glanced down at her eyes he could see the sleepiness washing over her blue orbs.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and tugged on her hand. Gently leading her somewhere quieter where they could both recover from the mass quantities of alcohol consumed in the still early night.

While Addison drifted in and out of consciousness in his lap, Derek took a long drink from a bottle of Grey Goose vodka before pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. He glanced around at his dark surroundings and shook his head. Slouched at the bottom of a closet containing masses of expensive looking coats and shawls with a half conscious Addison on his lap and about to call his maybe, possibly girlfriend on the phone was not how he would have pictured his life two years ago.

He took one last swig from the bottle, swallowing harshly and wondering how Addison had acquired the taste for this stuff so early on. He opened up his contacts and scrolled down to Meredith's name to return the mountains of calls he'd been avoiding from her.

He listened impatiently to the dial tone, running his fingers through Addison's silky locks as he did. She mumbled something and rolled over onto her back. Her eyes flickered open until she decided having them closed was easier and curled back into Derek's body.

"Hello?" a crackling voice cut through the peaceful silence.

"Hey, Meredith. It's me. Derek. I was just returning your call. Well, calls actually. I thought you might've been-"

"Oh wow. Derek I was really worried. I know this might seem weird I just, well, when you were leaving I felt like there was something on your mind."

_Yes that fact that I had just filed divorce papers and was about to board a flight with my soon-to-be ex-wife._

"Derek? Are you there?"

"Huh? Oh sorry. I'm pretty tired actually. I just wanted to make sure you weren't worried, or needed me for anything."

"Oh. Well. I mean, I would love if you were here. Did you know Sloan got beaten up? People are saying it was Addison that gave him that shiner. Were you there when that happened?"

Derek rolled his eyes.

"I actually kind of was. Look, Mere, I'm pretty tired so if that was all you wanted, I'm just going to go.."

"Wait. I was wondering if, maybe when you got back we could get coffee or something. Talk about things. I'm sure there's plenty you want to talk to me about?" there was a faint hint of desperation in her voice and Derek remembered why he had been avoiding this call. Things with Meredith used to be easy. There was never any in-depth conversation. Things just flowed and it was refreshing. Derek hadn't wanted deep and meaningful. He'd wanted easy. The opposite of Addison. He was looking for an escape. Prom was an escape. And escape from the downfall of what a marriage that had once been his passion, an escape from that good awful punch and cheesy decorations. He stole a glance down at the stirring redhead in his arms and felt the wind knocked from his gut. What was he doing? What had happened that Addison had been what he wanted to escape from. Well, he knew the answers to that, there was Lily and then her affair, and then his thing with Meredith. But what did he want? The last few days he's spent with Addison had been amazing. It had just been them. With each other. He'd told he loved her. Which had been true. He always would.

"Look Meredith I've got to let you go. I'll talk to you soon though." Derek quickly hung up and stuffed his phone into his jacket pocket.

"What are we doing Addie?" he whispered quietly as she shifted her in his arms so her head tucked under his chin and he could smell her conditioner.

"I don't know anymore Derek." she whispered, he voice slurred with sleep and muffled against his chest. Never the less it rang clear in Derek's ears.

Roughly an hour had passed when the sound of his own snoring roused Derek from his quiet reverie. He could feel a dead weight on his lap and his fingers were curled. His left handed fingers around something hard, warm from the palm of his hand. The fingers of his right hand were tangled in a silky substance. Familiar to his touch, he uncurled his fingers and let the auburn strands flow through his fingers like oil. He ran his palm through the strands, with his eyes closed he could imagine he had woken up after a sinister, haunting dream to find he had been clinging to his feathered pillow with such a fear that his hand had penetrated the cover and was lodged inside a wonderland of squashy surroundings. When he opened his eyes however, the striking colour of her hair was visible even in their dimly lit hide away. He sighed and glanced down to his left hand. He looked down to see his hard as nails top of the line phone curled in his fist. He shook his head as an unappealing sense of symbolism hit him across the face. Hard and soft. Dark and light. He held in his hands two opposites, connected only by him and his idiotism.

Addison shifted in his arms and raised her heavy head from where it had been tucked neatly against his hip as he slouched on an upturned wine crate. She smiled briefly at him before stretching her long limbs. He rubbed her head softly as he helped her settle herself upright. She left her long uncovered legs swing idly over the side of light wood box.

"I wonder is that where the idea of a box of wine comes from." she wondered out loud.

Derek shook his head and laughed softly.

"You must still be drunk because that is one of the most random statements you've ever made."

Addison shrugged her bare shoulders and let her head fall against his chest. "I was just making the effort to break the weird silence."

"It wasn't weird it was peaceful. Nice and quiet. Just how it should be when people are sleeping. You know of I had woken you up by singing you would not be this squishy."

Addison choked on her own laughter and took one of his hands in hers, tugging it away from wrapped around her waist to rest on her lap. She toyed with his fingers, tracing her pinkie softly around the ever so faint pale strip where his wedding ring had once rested.

"That's because you can't exactly do "Should I Stay or Go Now" justice when it's acapella. Actually, you can't do it justice at all." she whispered dryly.

"Is that a challenge?"

"So, you want to tell me why when I opened up my e-mail the other day I saw my brother all wrapped up in you. I mean, that's strange in itself. I do not like to see that kind of thing all over my screen. And in high quality and close up too. Your sister is one sneaky bitch." Nancy smirked as she swirled some whipped cream over the top of two cups of coffee.

Addison quickly covered the ears of Nancy's youngest daughter and sent her a curious look. Five year old Jessica shook her head and turned around to face her former aunt. "It's ok Addie. Sometimes mommy and dad have to use their grown-up words when they feel bad. I'm not able." she pouted until Nancy came behind her and smeared whipped cream on her nose. Jessica laughed before she ran off to find her sister's to show them her new freckle.

Addison laughed and shook her head. "Do you send you children to see Kathleen?"

"Is it that obvious?" Nancy replied a little to quickly. She narrowed her eyes slightly before changing the topic back to something more important. Or at least more interesting. "So, you never answered my question. You and Derek? Again?"

Addison ran her former ring finger around the top of the whipped cream, gathering some and then studying it thoughtfully. She looked up and found Nancy watching her. "I was supposed to be saving face." she said quietly.

"More like sucking face." Nancy snorted.

Addison bit her bottom lip as she threw a piece of cream at her. "Can you act you age, just for a few seconds?"

"Well, judging on recent events it seems anything is possible." Nancy smirked. "So…" she gestured for Addison to continue.

"I was in a bar. That kind of dingy one across the street from the hospital in Seattle, and I was looking for someone, anyone, aside from Mark, to be my date to Aubrey's wedding. That plan didn't go so well. So I sat there, drinking and feeling like an idiot. Because really, who are we kidding. I slept with my husband's best friend. I broke us apart so much that he supposedly fell in love with another woman. Then I stayed with his best friend, for two months, I had an abortion for Christ sakes. What was I doing?" Addison tightened her hold on the handle of her mug, her knuckles turning white.

"Did you love him? Did you love Mark? Did you for one second wish that you kept that baby? Do you look back now and think that maybe you could have started over. Without Mark, or Derek?" Nancy watched the other woman's face. Her eyes glazing over slightly before she blinked back the tears and locked eyes with Nancy.

"No. No, no and no to all of that. I could never have done that Nancy. I could never fall in love with someone else. I tried, god knows I tried. The only reason I stayed with him was so I knew I wasn't throwing away my marriage for some meaningless fuck with Mark. Mark who was sleeping with three other women while he claimed that he loved me. Who was I kidding Nancy. I just. I couldn't be alone. I didn't trust myself. I was so.. Numb. I couldn't feel anything. Nothing. The only thing I felt was this aching pain inside my stomach. It was guilt, or hunger, or maybe the hangovers coupled with sleeping aids. I don't know. I don't want to know. " Addison shook her head, willing away the memories.

Nancy stood and squeezed Addison's shoulder as she moved to the counter. "I think it's time we broke out the cake now." she set the plate down in front of them and handed Addison a fork.

"So, I know what happened in the past. That's the past. What I want to know is what's going on now? Has he finally admitted he's been having a mid-life crisis? Did the slutty intern finally leave and get something to eat. That girl is not healthy." Nancy confirmed before taking a large mouthful of the double chocolate cake with white frosting.

"Tell me about it. Every time I see her I feel like either giving her a steak or sticking my finger down my throat."

"This is what I'm saying." Nancy nodded and the two locked eyes before laughing through mouthfuls of cake.

A little while later after Addison had continued to fill Nancy in on the story so far they had re-located to the conservatory and were watching Nancy's girls playing in the garden with their dog, Jazzy.

"I can't believe I let them name him something so… tacky. Poor dog is going to grow up working the street corners." Nancy mused before pulling her knees up to her chest.

Addison laughed quietly and curled her legs up beneath her. "So what do I do?" she asked Nancy gently.

Nancy laughed. She raised her eyebrows and stopped when she saw Addison was serious. "Oh, Addie.." she stood up and crossed the space and curled up next to Addison, laying her head on her shoulder as Addison tilted hers to rest on top of it. "You know what you should do Add. You know you know. Just take the chance. Just, jump Addison. Jump at Derek and fight like hell. You love him. And he loves you. So just…jump." she whispered quietly.

"Well. I did already jump him. Twice. Two very, _very_ good times I should add. There's just, something. There's something there and it just makes the sex amazing. Actually mind blowing. It's ridiculous really. He just, does.. Things and I can't think-"

"Ok. Stop talking about mind-blowing orgasmic sex with my twin brother please. It's disgusting."

"For you maybe. Not for me." Addison said wistfully.

Nancy slapped her on the knee and they both laughed.

The sun was beginning it's descent into the horizon. The land in front of him was nearly jet black, leaving only the elaborate lighting schemes of the various houses to disrupt the darkness. The warm glow of the artificial bulbs was nothing compared to the vivid colours painted against the spring sky. High above the calm meadow the sky was a brilliant deep blue, warm orange clouds streaked through it, almost as if someone had cut a cantaloupe into thin slices and laid them across the back of a Patriots jersey. The bright yellow fighting to shine out far and wide as the orange and blue forced it down, pushing away the day and dragging the kicking and screaming night into it's place. Derek lowered himself down into the cool green blades and let the harsh scraping bark claw at his back. He let out a low hiss when the bruises shadowing his back screamed in protest to the pressure.

"It kind of makes you wish you either had a camera or you were a poet doesn't it?" Carmen asked as she picked the petals of a wild daisy viciously from it's warm yellow centre.

"I heard she went to see Nancy." Carmen continued as her former something-in-law continued to watch the sun setting with a layer of apparent indifference masking his troubled features. She threw a handful of white petals at his head, letting out loud noise of distaste and crossed her arms over her chest.

"No wonder Golden Girl fucked your best friend." she muttered. Purposely trying to rile him up.

A flicker of hatred moved over Derek's face and he roughly pulled a tuft of grass from the ground beneath him.

Carmen watched him and sighed.

"I understand that you're a male and you people tend to have difficulty with feelings and things of that nature. But really, take your balls out of your back pocket and tell Addison what you want. And while your doing that, you might give your intern a call and fill her in. you can't keep stringing two people along like that. Not Addie. Especially not Addie. She thought she was free Derek. We all knew it was a mistake on her part, letting you go like that, but we couldn't exactly fly over there and force you to love her. Although, it probably would have had a better effect then letting you two try and sort things out for yourselves.." she stopped for breath and studied his features once more. Set like a stone masterpiece he was unwavering. The blinking of his eyes the only real sign of life in him.

"Your pretty Derek. But you can't keep relying on these looks alone to save you. Stop taking the easy way out for once. Ask yourself Derek, what is it that you really truly want. Forget the sex, forget the past, all of the past, you stumble across these two women, one fresh faced and ready to tackle the world, determined to leave her mark, however small, on the paths she will eventually travel. The other, not so fresh faced, hardened by her life's experiences but maintaining her sense of self, her respect for herself, strong willed and annoyingly smart, she's got the passion and she knows what she wants, she's made herself a life but she is willing to reshape it for someone who cares enough to try for it. Stop taking the easy way out Derek. Addison needs to know what it is your doing, she needs to know that you mean what you. If your saying anything, at this point it doesn't really look it to me." with her unexpectedly large three cents added to the epic saga of 'AddisonandDerek' Carmen patted his shoulder and stood up. She brushed down her jeans and ran a hand through her still curled hair from the wedding the previous day. She gave Derek one last glance before she turned to head back down the worn path between the tall grass back towards the house.

"I love her." Carmen spun around on her heel and her eyes locked with Derek's. A small smile formed on his lips, visible even in the darkness.

"I need her. I just want to be with her. Share a home with her again. A real home. A want my life with her back. The life we had before the shit hit the fan." he shook his head slightly and turned back to the setting sun.

"Nice speech C." his voice floated over the long stalks of grass to settle in Carmen's ears. She pressed her lips together to hide her smile as she picked up her pace and hurried to the illuminated stone house at the bottom of the small hill.

When she reached the back door Addison was sitting on the porch swing, her eyes fixed on the tall shadow at the top of the hill. Carmen shook her head and continued inside rolling her eyes.

Addison smiled softly as she heard the door slam and lifted her tired body from the swaying seat, letting her sore feet carry her along the path Carmen had just journeyed.


	8. Chapter 8

-1The air was cool and still. There was the slightest breeze lingering in the air and it ruffled the tips of their hair as they sat, tangled in each other on the swing. Derek's laptop perched on his lap while Addison rifled through his wallet.

"You told me you burned this." she waved his platinum credit card in front of his face as he tried to concentrate on typing. His eyes flicked over the flying piece of plastic and he exhaled a breath.

"That's because the last time that card was mentioned we were arguing. Do you really think I was going to inform you of it's whereabouts. I would have been swimming in debt within an hour."

"What were we fighting about?" Addison asked quietly as she returned her gaze to the screen. She pointed at a word he'd misspelt and laughed when he grumbled something indecipherable.

"Probably the same thing we're fighting about now. Where to live."

"Oh come on. You know as well as I do that if we had moved in to that last house people would have called thought their street had turned into Wisteria Lane." Addison scoffed and shifted to see the screen better.

"It's not my fault your hair is a distinctive colour." Derek grumbled trying to dodge her force filled fist.

"You think my hair is sexy. Don't deny it." she pushed his hand away from the mouse map and clicked on a thumbnail for a house.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Derek pressed a kiss to the top of her head and let his eyes take in the image on the screen before him. "It's perfect." he mused.

Addison smiled widely. "I know, and for the record, so is my hair."

Derek shook his head and proceeded to type in some information. "So we're really doing this? Really honest to god, no holds barred, crying, screaming, passive aggressively doing this?" he asked gently, his finger hovering above the enter key.

Addison quickly pushed down his finger and moved the laptop to the side. She turned in his arms and shifted so she sat in his lap. She brought her lips barely a hair's breadth apart before pulling back. She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. "I'm jumping. We're jumping and we're fighting. And we're doing this." he leaned in and quickly claimed her lips with his as his hands tangled in her hair, locking her into the intoxicating kiss.

"And no one knows." he breathed. His lips still pressed against hers, teeth scraping gingerly against the soft rosy skin.

She nodded, breathing quickly.

"Just us." she whispered before giving into his relentless kissing once more.

When the need for oxygen over came them both, they pulled away. Lips swollen and pink, cheeks flushed slightly and with eyes bright with a renewed sense of excitement. Something new, but familiar. Intimidating but welcoming. Something a lot like home. A lot like love too.

"We're completely insane aren't we?" Derek mused as Addison stood on her own two feet and picked up the laptop. She smiled, her eyes fixed on the screen before her as she typed quickly for a second before closing it over and pressing it into his waiting hands. She leaned down and kissed him gently.

"That's probably why when we go to other people for advice we never get any. No one can understand us if we can't understand ourselves." she murmured gently against his cheek.

Derek looked up at her slightly confused. He hates when she talks that way. The way the requires him to think just a little too much. At least, he hates when she talks like that when her body is so close and her lips are still touching his skin.

Addison ran her fingertips along his jaw line for a few seconds before straightening up. Derek pressed one final kiss against the tip of her nose, making her laugh softly before she turned and headed for the back door.

"Help me get my shoe suitcase down stairs?" she batted her eye lashes at him and pouted as she pushed open the door with her hip.

Derek shook his head as he and the laptop followed her inside.

"Good morning folks. This is your captain speaking. We have now reached our cruising altitude and I am going to be turning off the fasten seat belt sign shortly. You will then be free to move about the cabin. Enjoy your flight and I will be speaking to you all when we near our destination." the voice over the in-flight speaker crackled to life as Addison breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

"Would you like a glass of champagne Dr. Montgomery?" the overly helpful brunette air hostess asked smiling calmly as she brandished the bottle.

Addison straightened in her seat and eyed the girl warily. "Leave the bottle, please."

Derek laughed from his seat across the aisle. He stopped abruptly when he caught Addison's death glare and shielded his face with the free in flight magazine. Addison downed the last of her champagne before she moved over to Derek's seat, she pushed at his hip and he scooted over to make room, keeping his eyes on the glossy photos before him.

"I hate take off with a passion." Addison muttered.

"I know an excellent way to soothe those airborne nerves of yours." Derek commented idly.

Addison looked at him questioningly. Irritated when he didn't respond right away she grabbed the magazine and closed it in her lap, forcing Derek to look her in the eyes. He simply raised an eyebrow suggestively and flicked his eyes toward the back of the section where the rest rooms were. Addison followed his eyes until her own light up in recognition.

"Oh." she murmured quietly. She studied his features before standing up and sauntering in the direction of the currently vacant cubicle.

He shook his head before counting to ten and then getting up to retrace her steps. He smiled gently at the flight attendant and winked when she blushed slightly. As he slipped in the small crack Addison had pushed open for him he could have sworn he heard two female voices mention something about acting like irresponsible teens. He didn't have much time to dwell on that fact as Addison had wound her arms around his neck and hoisted herself onto the tiny counter.

Derek slipped his hands around her waist, sliding them up the thin layer of material of her sweater and running his fingers over the smooth skin of the small of her back. Just as he was running his hands up along her thighs and heading north to where there was a heat undoubtedly spreading, she pulled away suddenly. She pushed his hands from her body and moved to hop down from the sink.

"Addie, what's the matter?" Derek asked confused as he smoothed down her hair gently.

Addison looked up at him and scrunched up her nose. "People puke in here." she stated as if the fact had just occurred to her.

Derek smiled and stepped closer, running his hands up and down her arms, "Yes well, that fact never stopped us before." he kissed her soft lips quickly. Addison shook her head and pushed at his chest again.

"No way. I'm not getting naked with you in here. We're more mature than that. At least, I think we are. No wait. We are. We definitely are." she nodded in affirmation and Derek rolled his eyes.

"Fine, but have to keep those where I can see them at all times until we are somewhere where we can have sex." Derek gestured towards her long legs which were currently wrapped around his waist. Addison grinned up at him before untangling herself from him and sliding down off the sink. They quickly straightened out each other's clothes before Addison turned to check herself over in the mirror. Derek hugged her from behind and let his chin rest on her shoulder. Just as he tilted his head to the side to kiss her neck Addison jerked her head away.

"What's up with you today? Do I smell and no one told me?" Derek nearly pouted and Addison had to resist the urge to smack him upside the head.

"If you start that I know that it will lead _places_ and I am not doing it in a toilet box." Addison hissed and made to move towards the door. She stopped when she heard Derek laughing, she fixed with a questioning look and Derek bit his lip.

"Toilet box?" he questioned before giving into the laughter again. This time Addison did smack him upside the head before pulling back the lock on the door and walking back to her seat. Derek was still chuckling as he followed her, noticing that she was adding a little more swing to her hips, purely to tease him.

Addison stepped off of the plane in Tacoma Airport and almost instantly knew something was wrong. Derek could almost feel her body tense beside her. He glanced over and could see her mind whirring behind her blue eyes. He followed her distant stare and caught site of what was making her look so lost and alone. His eyes latched onto a familiar figure. Her back was turned and her wavy dark blond locks pulled back into a messy ponytail. Her shoulders rounded slightly but she had an air of determination about her as she stared intently at the large screen hanging from the wall. Derek looked at the woman beside him and felt the world beneath his feet shift. He reached out and squeezed her hand tightly. She looked up into his eyes and could have sworn he could see tears shining on the surface. He pulled her very quickly into his arms and held her close, breathing in the scent of her hair and the feel of her body pulled right against his own.

"You're not crying." he whispered against her cheek.

Addison pulled back and wiped furiously at his eyes. She shook her head and locked eyes with him. "No. I'm not crying." she replied quietly. She clasped her hand around the handle of her luggage and gave him a small, just a tad watery, wink and strode purposefully towards the exit. He kept his eyes trained on her , even as he tapped Meredith on the shoulder he stole one last glance at the flaming head of red hair before allowing his neck to trapped in a vice by two arms that just didn't seem to fit anymore.

"So, I have to admit, when I got a page that told me there was an emergency at Joe's, I was a little sketchy." Calliope Torres sighed heavily as she sank onto the uncomfortable bar stool beside a leggy red head with fabulous heels.

"Well, you promised me a drink that time." Addison murmured as she managed to detach her lips from the rim of her martini glass for all of three seconds.

"Something tells me this isn't going to be about McSteamy and his seductive ways."

"How about McSteamy and that ugly black eye he's been sporting?"

"Now you got me." Callie nodded at Joe to keep the drinks coming and smiled warmly as he slid to cold beers their way.

"We bought a house. It's a gorgeous house. Nice area, great backyard, these stunning windows and a Jacuzzi bath. Not to mention the wardrobe. The closest space is to die for."

"You and Mark bought a house? And then you gave him a black eye?" Callie shook her head in confusion.

"No. Derek and I. We bought the house." Addison stated as if it were common knowledge that she and her ex-husband often bought property together.

Callie was about to respond when she felt someone's chest pressed against her back. She didn't need to turn around to know who it was. Mark Sloan had that talent for appearing when he wasn't wanted.

"Stay out of my life." Addison snapped as she pushed herself off of her stool to slightly shaky legs and downed the last of her martini. "You coming Callie?" she asked arching an eyebrow.

Callie glanced between the two, Mark was watching her like her wanted to rush over and sweep her off her feet while Addison was keeping her eyes firmly fixed on Callie.

Callie shrugged as she joined Addison and the two made their towards the exit. Addison stopped short when they nearly collided with two figures at the doorway.

Derek nodded at Callie and attempted to lock eyes with Addison. Meredith smiled and tried an awkward greeting. Addison smiled weakly before continuing on her way. Derek reached out to grab her hand but she managed to brush him off quickly, locking eyes with him instead and nodding ever so slightly.

Addison and Callie continued their extended version of happy hour in the bar of the Archfield Hotel. Addison sashayed her way back to their table with two fresh martinis and smiled warmly at the piano player.

"I used to play the piano you know." Addison mused as she swirled the olive around on the stick. Callie sipped from her glass, feeling slightly like she was an extra on Sex and the City what with the music and the drinks and the leggy red head sitting across from her.

"I sing. Well, I used to. I never seem to find the time these days. Breaking bones doesn't leave much of a social life for yours truly."

"I think we need to get drunk faster. I'm way too sober to talk about what I need to talk about and not start blushing or crying." Addison stated before she finished off her martini with a flourish.

"So let me get this straight. You had sex with Derek, his sister found out, you're pretty sure the two of you are in love again so you bought a house together, just to have something solid to fall back on. And in the meantime Mark showed up to confess his undying love to you so Derek punched him in the jaw. Oh, and Derek is supposed to be Meredith's girlfriend who he left you for. Did I get it all?" Callie asked, her eyes wide in disbelief and her pupils twice the normal size, although that could have been due to the alcohol.

Addison sighed as she hugged an empty bottle of Grey Gooses close to her chest. When someone put it that way it sounded almost tacky. She didn't want to be the adulteress whore anymore. She just wanted. What was it she wanted? Derek. She was pretty sure she wanted Derek. No, she was certain. You don't just buy an expensive house because your nearly sure the person you bought it with is who you want to be with. That was stupid. She looked down from where the dimming lights of her suites ceiling had been holding her attention captive. She blinked a few times until she focused on Callie.

"I don't think I should sleep with Derek anymore." she mumbled softly.

"Are you insane? He's hot, ok so his nose is a little funky but I saw him getting changed in the locker room one time and he's hot. Not as built as Mark but he's still sexy." Callie said firmly.

"I don't like Mark. I told Mark I loved him once. That was stupid. I do stupid things when it comes to men. If I hadn't slept with Derek last week none of this one have happened." she knew that was a lie, in the back of her mind Addison had always had a feeling she and Derek would end up doing _something._ When she looked into the future he was still the person she saw in the rocking chair looking onto the lake beside her. It was pathetic, she knew that. They were divorced. Before she'd been divorced she wasn't this romanticised.

"He ruined me." she stated firmly.

"But he's still good in bed isn't he?"

Addison smiled slyly and Callie errupted into giggles. "Ok, it's official, until I find myself a hunky man who looks half as good in bed as Derek _or _Mark, you don't get to have sex."

"That's not fair! What if me and Derek sort ourselves out before that I want him. I meant _want_ him." Addison purred the last line and gave what she thought in her drunken state was a seductive wink. It just looked like her eye was trying to regurgitate a contact lens.

"Don't even try give me bedroom eyes again Red. And it is fair, besides, by the time you and Derek are sorted out, I will most likely be married with five kids." Callie reached forward and pried the bottle from Addison's grasp

"Fine. No sex. For either of us. When we have sex bad things happen. Well, not always. Really good, mind blowing, lung bursting, toe curling things happen first. Then the bad things."

"Amen to that." Callie's muffled voice came from where she was trying to lick out the last drops from the bottle.

A long while later, or it could have only been ten minutes, Callie wasn't sure after the last few shots, she fixed a wobbly Addison with a look.

" Look, I know that I'm desirably and all that jazz, but you should know that I don't swing that way. Your hot. Your smoking hot, but I'm kind of, seeing someone. Well, I'm not really. I'm just buying houses with people." Addison slurred before flopped back down on the bed beside Callie's head.

"The word is desirable, And no. I was going to ask if the look you and he with the great hair shared meant that you were going to indulge in some orgasmic ex-sex in this bed." her rambling was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"That answers by question then." Callie nodded to herself as she pushed herself from the bed.

She stumbled to the door, cursing the red head for having to get the room with so many objects littering the floor. She squinted in the harsh light of the corridor and smiled drunkenly at Derek Shepherd.

"I have her all set up on the bed for you. But you should know, she's not allowed have sex. We made a deal." Callie winked before sauntering down the hallway to her own suite.

Derek shook his head as she nudged the door closed behind him and wandered through the suite to the bed.

"No!" Addison cried out as Derek collapsed on the bed beside her. "We can't have sex. I promised Callie. I don't break promises. I swear. Our vows don't count because you broke them too." she stumbled through her words, so intent on informing Derek of her new found abstinence that she hadn't realised he had gotten her into bed until she tucked her head under his chin.

"Oh." she whispered into the darkness.

"Lets just have tonight Addie. Just tonight." Derek whispered softly, and if Addison hadn't made friends with more alcohol than was welcome, she would have realised the hint of relief in his voice.

Addison ran her fingers through her tangled ponytail and surveyed the mess laid out before her. Somewhere behind the mountain of cardboard which was currently her closer was a bed. A king sized sleigh bed in fact. A bed she wasn't particularly fond of, but Derek loved it, and she couldn't deny that even after all these years, his smile still made her knees get that tiny bit wobbly. She assured herself all women felt that way about him, it was just one of his things.

"I thought he heard some frustration up here." a deep voice interrupted her thoughts as two strong arms wrapped around her waist.

"You can't hear frustration Derek." she replied crisply.

Derek pressed a kiss to her cheek before making his way over the bed. He started shifting boxes onto the ground and sweeping other items off of the bed.

"What are you doing?" she asked cautiously, walking slowly toward him. Derek grinned and leaned forward, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her down with him.

"Having sex with you in the new bed." he whispered against her lips. Addison sighed as she swept his tongue across her bottom lip and gave into his touch. She pulled away quickly.

"We can't."

"Yes we can." he said softly as he gently flipped them over, running his hands now her body. "If this about that Callie thing, she already broke your little pact, we walked in on it that time remember?" he shuddered slightly at the thought.

"We can't because of Meredith." Addison said firmly, trying in vain to push him off her.

"Meredith thinks I'm fishing with Richard all weekend. We have time. I've missed you." he finished quietly.

Addison rolled her eyes. "Don't try and guilt me into this Derek. We've seen each other all week at the hospital. Don't you dare pout." she hit his shoulder and his bottom lip immediately went back into place.

"You know what I mean. I miss spending time with you. Being around you. I miss the sex too, but that's because you're you and any man would want to sleep with you. Addie please, it's our house. We need somewhere with good times in Seattle." Derek had rolled beside her now, running his fingers up and down her bare arm. Addison lifted her head out of the crook of his neck and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"I seem to remember good time in that shower in the trailer." she whispered as she shifted to straddle him, peeling his t-shirt from his body and trailing kisses up his chest to his lips.

Derek tangled his fingers in her hair and locked their mouths together before rolling them over again. Addison laughed into the kiss, she tried not to because she really wanted to kiss him. But then he pulled back and smiled against her cheek and whispered her name against her skin and she wasn't sure she knew how to not smile anymore. As he ran his hands down her body, pushing and tugging at material in a frantic search for skin Addison made a mental note that they needed to talk. Then his lips were on her chest and all thoughts flew from her mind.


	9. Chapter 9

-1"We have to stop meeting like this.." Addison murmured against the skin of Derek's neck as he ran his fingers through her hair. He smiled and let his hands travel down to her waist before wrapping her in a hug. He breathed in the scent of her shampoo and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I had a rough day." he whispered softly, running his fingers across the small of her back.

"It's only two thirty Derek." she replied pulling back so she could look into his eyes. He avoided her gaze as she ran her fingers through his hair soothingly. He closed his eyes and she wrapped her arms around his neck, her eyes searching his face. "You lost the little boy didn't you?" she asked quietly. Derek nodded and shook his head.

"Charlie." he said gently, wrapping his arms around her body tightly. He just need to feel something. Anything besides this numbness that had been hanging over him all morning and now afternoon.

"It's not like I haven't lost patients, kids, before but he was just.. He had this spirit for a kid who was so sick and I just…" he trailed off quietly. Addison nodded, she didn't want to push him. "It's my own fault, I shouldn't have gotten so attached to this patient. I just, I don't know. He was such a great kid and I was so determined. But he was just too weak.."

"Charlie." Addison murmured as she traced Derek's jaw line with her finger tips.

"Derek?" Meredith. Derek whipped around, and saw a shocked Meredith standing in the door way.

"She's where you've been? She's the reason I never seen you isn't she?" Meredith practically spat. "I should have known that whore would get to you again." she hissed, before turning on her heel and slamming the door.

Derek turned back to face Addison whose face had darkened significantly. He swallowed nervously as she pushed him out of her way without a word and burst into the corridor.

"Meredith!" she called out, her voice harsh and her head held high she strode right up to Meredith. Meredith's face paled as she took in Addison's stance and how her fists were balled together. For a second it looked like Addison was about to slap her.

"He lied." Addison stated simply. She turned to walk towards the elevator bank , but then changed her mind and turned back to face Meredith. "Don't you _ever _talk about me that way again." she said fiercely before she strode towards the elevator again.

Derek turned the corner just in time to see Addison disappearing behind the doors of the elevator and Meredith standing, stunned at the nurses station. The rest of the people in the area stood in a stunned silence, their eyes moving between him and Meredith.

"You lying bastard." Meredith whispered, Derek felt a stinging pain shot around his cheek as Meredith's palm connected with his skin. She pushed past him and hurried down the hall. Izzie Stevens and George O'Malley hot on her heels.

"Fuck." Derek whispered as she slammed his fist down on a pile of charts which went clattering to the ground.

"Now you and Sloan match." shot Dr. Torres as she sat up from her chair behind the desk.

Addison had been slamming things all day so it was no surprise to her that when she shut her car door the sound made her shiver slightly. She looked up at the house before her. No lights were turned on except the outside one, illuminating the path to the door and the front porch which proceeded to wrap around one side of the house.

She slammed the front door behind her with such force that the windows shook. She sighed to herself and stepped out of her heels, shrugging out of her light coat and tossing her keys in the bowl on the table. She caught her reflection in the mirror and grimaced. Hell hath no fury like a woman who's heart was broken the same day her waterproof mascara ran out. She wandered into the kitchen and pressed the play button on the machine which was blinking rapidly.

"_Babe, your not answering your pages-.."_

"_Addison look I know your upset but-"_

"_I love you Addie-"_

"_Please Addison. You can't let that fool get to you like this. Don't do something you'll regret please. We're both here if you need us."_

Addison couldn't help smiling softly at that message, in a city where she didn't have many friends it was nice to know that there some people looking out for her. She scribbled down on a pad a reminder to herself that she needed to call Callie and Miranda back. The next message however wiped the smile from her face the second she heard his voice.

"_I heard. I can imagine your hurting. You can't let them keep doing this to you. Forget about him Addison. You know where I'll be when you need me. Same room as before, same hotel."_

At this Addison grabbed the machine and flung it across the kitchen. It clattered on the hard tile and the flashing button popped off, sliding over to Addison's stocking clad feet. She bent and picked it up, curling her fingers around it until her knuckles turned white. She didn't need their pity, their pathetic apologies, their sympathy sex. She was strong. She was _Addison. _She nodded to herself confidently as she poured herself a grass of red wine. It was as she put the glass back down on the counter that the tears clouded her vision. Yes she was Addison, but damn it he was _Derek. _He was who she loved. She could be strong and confident and all of those qualities that made her Addison but that didn't stop her loving him. She'd tried before to live without, to see him with someone else, "in love". She'd tried desperately to fill the void he left in her heart but it was futile. He was imprinted on her, he was a stain that couldn't be removed. She wanted him. She wanted to love him and she wanted him to love her. She wanted to be with him again, just him. Just them. No more lying and cheating and sleeping around. She just wanted _them. _Addison and Derek. Why did he have to make it so damn hard?

"Fuck." she whispered into the quiet. She slammed to light back down on the counter and left the kitchen.

Derek glanced down at his pager and groaned. He pulled his arm back out of the sleeve it had been halfway through in the jumper and threw it back inside the locker with a vengeance. He had been about ten feet away from freedom of haemorrhages, tumours and interns. One intern in particular who was making his life harder then usual. What was he doing? Why didn't he just break up with her the second he got off that damn plane. Why had he left these eight days pass and done nothing. Just live in his freaky limbo world he had created for himself. Since when had he turned into such a coward?

_The night you walked in on your wife and best friend going at it like rabbits on speed._ He answered himself. It was true though. He'd run that night. He'd fled and hid in Seattle, he'd gone to far as to hide in the woods, with his tin can and telephone box bathroom.

"For Christ's sake why are you not at home grovelling? For the love of all that is surgical!" Derek whipped around and saw Miranda Bailey standing in the door way, hands on her hips and a face that stated simply that Derek was possibly one of the biggest fools in the planet

Before his open mouth had produced words both their pagers broke the silence with their shrill squaking. Derek kicked his locker closed in frustration and grabbed a stethoscope that was hanging from the open locker beside his as she dashed out the door.

"Blame the pile-up on the turnpike." he yelled over his shoulder. He narrowly avoided colliding with someone on his way and grabbed their shoulders to stop himself tumbling stupidly onto a passing gurney.

"Meredith." he said quietly when he recognised the face before him. Both glanced down at his hands on her shoulders and he pulled them away as if he had been burned. He missed the look of pain in her eyes in his haste to get to the emergency room where numerous frontal lobes were waiting impatiently for his skilled hands.

"I'll miss you too Derek." Meredith wished weakly to his back as it disappeared around a corner.

"You know, you won't if you think about it. That fool causes more pain and suffering then he's worth. Even if his hair is mighty perfect." came a confident response. Meredith nearly leaped out of her skin when she turned to meet her resident in the eye.

"How long have you been there?" Meredith asked, a sense of panic in her voice. Bailey sighed and patted her intern on the shoulder.

"Long enough to know that this is the end of the road. He knows it and you know it too. You've both known it the second that red head strutted through those doors months ago."

"Yeah. Yeah we did." Meredith responded quietly. "Was nice while it lasted though." she muttured. Men like Derek don't happen often. For Meredith, looking back on it, that's probably a good thing, she wasn't sure she would have been able for much more of Derek Shepherd.


	10. Chapter 10

Part 1 of a 2 part chapter. Enjoy! ;)

* * *

Addison wasn't sure what is was that had prompted her to invite the hunky Italian man to her workplace, but something told her it was that last whiskey. She didn't even like whiskey.

"Careful, beautiful girl." a deeply accented voice ran into her ears and she felt a grip tighten on her arm as she made her way out of the glaring yellow cab.

"I got it Paolo." she muttered, her voice sounding foreign to her. Trust her to be the one to loose all her class and refinement when she gets well and truly hammered.

She stood up as straight as possible and closed her eyes for a moment, praying that would stop the room from spinning.

**ooo**

Derek tugged his scrub cap off his head and rolled his shoulders a few times. He couldn't help but smile to himself as he folded his arms and surveyed the OR board.

"You look incredibly happy for someone who just got dumped by two women today." Mark Sloan commented as he stood beside Derek, folding his arms after he removed his scrub cap.

"You look incredibly happy for someone who got beaten up by a girl." Derek retorted.

"You just called yourself a girl…."

Derek's eyebrows knotted together as he forced his mind to back peddle.

"You also look incredibly happy for a guy with a black eye, who was dumped twice in one day and now has an ex-wife roaming the halls. Drunkenly. With some European, might I add." Mark smirked.

Derek turned his head and studied Mark's face. Mark continued to look straight ahead at the chicken scratch on the board.

Preston Burke strolled up to join his fellow surgeons, acquiring the typical stance, he nodded to acknowledge both men.

"Your ex-wife is roaming the halls. With what I think is an Italian man." he commented.

Derek turned to his other side and studied Burke's face closely.

"She gets grabby when she's drunk. Talks a lot too." Mark commented quietly, squinting in an effort to distinguish an appendectomy from an endoscope.

"You would know" Derek replied wearily.

"Shepherd."

All three men froze at the sound of Richard's voice. "What the hell did you do now?"

"Now do you believe us?" Mark asked tilting his head and shooting Derek a cheeky grin.

"I'll believe it when I see it." Derek snapped, he shifted his shoulders and attempted to achieve his previous content state. He had been moderately happy until the three musketeers showed up. Intruding on his nirvana as it were.

A rhythmic clattering was heard, Derek could practically feel the air rippling with the whispers.

"There he is!" the red heads voice cut through the air sharply. Derek squeezed his eyes really tight, willing himself to wake up at any second.

"Good luck with that." Burke, Mark and Richard said in unison. Derek opened one eye at a time and turned slowly to see one of the most ridiculous things to happen yet at Seattle Grace.

Addison stood, hands on her hips, her knees wobbling just a tad and wearing a slightly aloof expression. Behind her stood what could only be described as 'An Italian'. Tall, dark and unnervingly handsome. Derek felt something tick inside him at the closeness between the mystery man and Addison.

Addison fixed him with a raised eye brow as she did her best to saunter to him. She smiled graciously at Richard as she passed and winked at Burke, who merely laughed and stepped back to watch the show along with Mark.

"I hate all of you so much." Derek hissed as Addison came to a shaky halt inches from his face. She dissolved into a goofy grin and ran her fingers through his hair, humming gently to herself.

"Addie, why is there an Italian man with you?" he asked gently extracting her fingers from his roots.

"We had wild sex in public and I needed to borrow money to pay his pimp." she responded, oh so nonchalant.

"This is ridiculous." Richard commented as he joined Mark and Burke. The other men merely nodded, eyes glued to the couple before them.

"You better be kidding." Derek said sternly, trying to make eye contact with Addison, but she was busy picking imaginary fluff from his scrub top.

"I wish I was serious." she mumbled before lifting her eyes to his, she let a small gasp escape her lips and stepped back from Derek before running back into him again. "Your eyes are really blue." she whispered with all the covertness of a CIA agent.

Derek mentally willed himself to be somewhere, anywhere else.

'_Hell, heaven, Alaska… '_

"Honestly I don't know why Paolo is here, I think he might be stalking me. I only kissed him once…"

'_A war torn country, the middle of the Atlantic…'_

"Ok, twice, but only because I'm heart broken… and Mark insinuated sex."

'_Six feet under.'_

"You are speaking very loudly Addie." Derek said as he slapped himself for not trying to get her to leave.

"Maybe we should go somewhere and talk in private." he suggested.

"Or, we could just get everyone to leave. Maybe not the really sick people, just the kind of sick people. And the fakers." she trailed off as she let herself lean against his chest.

"Oh Addison. How about I take you home before you embarrass yourself even more." he whispered against her hair as he placed his hands on her shoulders. He jumped slightly when he felt a hand grab his back side. "That would be our cue." he grumbled.

Addison pulled back suddenly and with a what would have been wicked grin spread over her face. She reached up, and missed his lips completely, instead she ended up kissing his slightly rough jaw line.

"You need to shave….." she whispered, "I just remember I currently hate you too." she finished, looking up and fixing him with a wobbly stare.

"Time to go Montgomery." Derek stretched an arm in the direction of the elevator bank.

"Don't you dare tell me to go somewhere." Addison retorted, flipping her hair over her shoulder and strolling somewhat distractedly towards the OR board. Her eyes fixated on the ground around her feet ,she would glace upwards every few inches or so when something bright got her attention.

She finally got to her destination, (approximately two inches away from her destination).

"I was aiming for Mark." she called out, her tongue beginning to loosen slightly in her still drunken state.

Mark glanced at Derek, with a taunting look before smugly making his way towards his favourite red head.

"You rang?"

"Why do I have a patient chart in my hand?" Addison mumbled, her eyes quickly flicking down to the hard blue folder between her palms.

"You took the scenic route hun." Mark answered gently prying the chart from her hands.

Addison promptly swung around on her heels, misjudging the space around her for perhaps the hundredth time that night and slamming into Mark's chest.

Derek slapped a palm to his head. He glanced around and saw quiet a few people enjoying the little show Addison was putting herself in.

"You don't get to call me hun! You don't get to call me anything. I don't think you understood the whole reason that I nearly threw myself in front of a moving vehicle a couple weeks ago do you?"

Mark started dumbly at the woman before him. He had forgotten the mood swings that came with the flirty drunken Addison.

"Maybe you should calm down." he said quietly, his eyes darting around the hall.

"No, you get your hands off me right now or I will surgically remove them and stick them somewhere incredibly unpleasant. I don't want to be with you. Not now. Not ever. Not in the past, never in my future. I hate the way you feel you have some control over me. I'm not one of your patients. You are not god. Stop trying to comfort me when you're the one who got me in this god forsaken hell hole in the first place." she was yelling now. Loudly.

Derek quickly stepped forward.

"Back off Mark. Back off now before all hell breaks loose."

"Oh it already has." Addison hissed darkly. Fire in her eyes that had once been hazy and somewhat dream like.

"You need to calm down. People are staring. At you, right at you, there's no one casually glancing anymore people are just starting at you and-" Derek was cut off by Addison's lips on his.

Resisting the urges that surged though his body like flames, intensified by the fact that they had started this and been interrupted three times already since breakfast, Derek pushed Addison's shoulders and pulled his lips away from hers.

"Not now. Please. I know you hate me right now, and somewhere in the back of your muddled head you would like to see me thrown beneath a speeding train, but please, don't. I wish I didn't have to stop, _this. _but you'll kill me if I don't. I would like to keep living, I enjoy the living." he said as quietly as he could, their faces so close their lips still brushed on every second word.

"I think we should leave." Addison responded, her eyes beginning to get heavy from the mixture of emotional turbulence and alcoholic consumption.

Derek nodded and glanced over her shoulder to see Richard wave him off before starting to shoo people back to work and try to regain some semblance of dignity for his surgical floor. And his surgeons.

"I wasn't kidding when I said I needed cash for Paolo." Addison said quietly as they passed by the hunky man. "He's a cab driver." she added.

Derek let his head fall back wards in exasperation. '_You've got to be kidding me.'_ He stepped backwards to stand beside the man. "See the guy over there with the shit eating grin on his face and the remains of a bruise under his right eye? That's your guy. Tell him I said Satan sent you." Derek nodded and left before the Italian could respond.

"That was mean." Addison mumbled.

"You shut up." Derek answered as they stepped into the elevator.

_**ooo**_

A sudden shift in the lay of the land Addison was currently burrowed in was not what her insides wanted. In fact, it was the opposite. She instantly regretted that last glass of red wine from the cheap bottle she'd nearly smashed over Derek's head upon arriving at their house to find his intern parked outside with an expression that stated she clearly wanted a couple of things discussed.

"Hey there Sleeping Beauty." a soft voice pricked the back of her neck as she curled herself into an even tighter ball.

"Fuck off." she hissed through clenched teeth, convinced that if she pressed her eyelids together anymore that they would implode.

Derek moved into a sitting position, one hand still on her side his expression could only be described as confused. When he felt her stiffen underneath his palm he slowly drew back his hand and let himself lean back against the headboard. That small movement making Addison's stomach lurch backwards and then upside down.

"You've got to be kidding me." she moaned before she quickly drew herself up out of bed and lunged for the bathroom.

Derek quickly followed only to be stopped in his tracks once he reached the threshold. His eyes followed Addison's finger as she pointed at him, fire in her tired eyes.

"Don't you even dare. I don't want you anywhere near me."

Derek's mouth fell open to reply only to close again when Addison slammed the door in his face, the clicking of the lock sending home the message that she was not pleased. He paused thoughtfully for a moment before an idea hit him.

"If she wants a fight." he muttered quietly before turning on his heel and heading downstairs.

_**ooo**_

"Derek Shepherd!" Derek smirked before he turned around to face a fuming Addison.

She narrowed her eyes when she saw that the fear had not yet kicked in for him.

"Where are they?"

"I don't what your talking about dear." Derek replied easily, slipping a hand behind his back to call the elevator.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about _darling._" she stepped around him and jabbed the button with her finger.

Derek smiled sweetly and kissed her cheek quickly before stepping backwards as the silver doors glided open. Addison followed, her features darkened as she arched an eyebrow, eyeing Derek up and down as he leaned back against the railing. _'He clearly has learned nothing.' _She thought to herself.

"Where are the shoes Derek?" she cut straight to her only order of business.

"I have no idea what your talking about Addison." he repeated, folding his arms across his chest and watching as the numbers above the door glowed as they moved upwards.

"Maybe Ill just have to remind you then." she whispered as she pressed her body against his. Derek eyes remained fixed on the numbers. Addison smirked against his skin as she let her hands roam over his chest, kissing along his neck, her lips soft against the slight stubble on his chin and her breath hot.

"Addie." Derek whispered just before she caught both of his lips with hers and his hands fell to her hips. The dull ring announced they had reached their desired fall and Addison waited as the doors began their separation before she tugged downwards on the material in her hands and pulled out of Derek's reach.

There was a sudden ripple of sounds from the group gathered outside the elevator doors as Addison strode past leaving Derek standing by himself with his superman emblazoned boxers on display, his eyes wide as he scrambled to grab his scrubs off the floor, back up his legs and get the hell out of that elevator.

"Superman, seriously?" Alex Karev asked with a laugh as Derek pushed past him.

"I'm a busy man. I don't always have time to do laundry, Karev." Derek hissed. "Addison!" he called out after the leggy redhead that was sauntering down the hallway to her office. She turned slowly and strode back towards Derek. Her face determined.

"What was that about?" Derek demanded, shooting a dark look to two nurses who giggled something unflattering as they passed.

A small smile tugged at the corners of Addison's lips. "Oh, I think you what that was all about now, _Sweetheart."_

Ex-husband and ex-wife locked eyes with each other.

"It's war now, _Dear._" Derek called over his shoulder as he stalked towards his office.

"Shepherds." a booming voice rang out across the area and both Addison and Derek turned in the Chiefs direction.

"I'm not a Shepherd anymore." Addison replied calmly.

Dr Webber arched an eyebrow. "I really don't care. In my office, now, both of you." he finished before briskly leading the way.

_**ooo**_

Review please and thanks.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:** God, I haven't updated here in awhile. I'm a sucky person for that. Also, I totally lied the last time when I said this and the last chapter were a two part thing. They're not. You can think of them that way if you'd like, but I don't.... If you are still reading this story, carry on about your business, I'll be back with more soon. I swear.

* * *

"I hate you so much." Addison growled as she wrestled with a piece of popcorn stuck in her hair.

"Me?" Derek said in disbelief as he added another water balloon to the tub beside him.

"You're the one that got us stuck here all afternoon." Addison contemplated just tugging the hair from the root upon realizing it was toffee coated popcorn. "I could be slicing people open and saving lives right now. Innocent little babies are being born into this world with second rate interns in charge of their care right this second. While a world class Neonatal surgeon simply couldn't make it because she was busy making sure no one choked on toffee fucking popcorn."

Derek glanced over Addison's shoulder and spotted a young red haired boy innocently sucking a lollipop and looking up at Addison with the reflection of a two headed fire breathing dragon in his glassy eyes.

"You said a bad word." His words tumbled on top of each other in a rush of excitement, fear and curiosity. He looked between the two grown ups for some kind of explanation.

The doctors looked between each other frantically, minds scrambling for an excuse. Addison's mouth opened and closed like a fish, gasping for water as she dried out on the shore before Derek cut in quickly.

"I'll give you more balloons when the game starts if you don't tell anyone." He promised hopefully.

The young boy mulled this over for a few seconds before he beamed up at the dark haired surgeon and held out his arms expectantly.

"Good job super dad." Addison smiled slightly as young footsteps dashed away to the back yard for more mindless water flinging. Shrieks and yelling exploded as fast as the freezing water cascaded down the sweaty necks of the young party goers.

Derek glanced over at her thoughtfully before he continued with his duties. "You're not so bad yourself you know." He commented softly.

"You say that now." She replied, not looking at him. Just incase something suddenly shifted and she lost control of herself. "After I scarred that poor kid for life. I didn't even think it was cute. I wanted to kick him back out the door again."

"You're saying that because you have toffee in your hair and you're missing an important patient's birth. You don't really feel that way towards young unsuspecting boys with lollipops and button noses." Derek smiled hopefully, turning towards her.

Addison took a breath and remembered how angry she was. How much she wanted to dump a barrell of those stupid balloons over his head and let him drown in their filling, or her tears. Either way seemed to have a significant enough meaning.

"What happened with Meredith last night?" she asked cooly.

Derek looked at her, lost for words, once again caught unprepared by her sudden mood changes. Stuck with his head below the rushing waters of her game he simply watched her wordlessly turn with a fresh bowl of popcorn and return to the festivites that were Richard Webber's twin nephew's fifth birthday party.

--

Nancy Shepherd hated the rain. The fact that she had yet to find just one single product in the world that could actually handle the frizz it induced, the way it made the hem of your pants wet so that you could never immediately curl up on the couch after fighting your way home through the sheets and the fact that it was never, ever possible to have on of those clichéd romantic moments as you embraced some gorgeous lover of yours in the middle of a downpour. Most of all she hated the way the rain lingered in the air, so that even on a day like today, a rarity in Seattle, when the clouds were absent from the sky and the air was mostly dry, you still feel that damn rain.

She knew that those clouds would soon swoop in from the gallows and drown the unsuspecting citizens as they tried to make the most of the warm, dry afternoon.

She yanked the handbrake on the rental car up with added force and stopped to double check the address on the prescription pad some quivering intern had scribbled down in a hasty bid to free themselves of the aggravated Dr. Sister Shepherd. She caught her reflection in the rearview mirror and flopped back in the fake leather seat.

"What is it about this place that makes everyone so unhappy?" she asked her puzzled reflection. She arched an eyebrow at the dumbfounded expression on her face and sighed. She inhaled again, in an attempt to retrieve some of her hard nosed, composed self and tried again. She wiggled her shoulders before sitting up straight and attaching a sales assistant's smile to her face. "Hello, I'm Nancy Shepherd; would you be able to tell me where my dumb fuck of a twin is please?"

She smirked back at her reflection. "Much better."

She pulled the keys from the ignition, gathered her bag and lightweight raincoat, it had an inevitable use coming, she could sense it, and stepped out of the car onto the graying tar macadam. She kicked the door closed with her foot before locking it and striding purposefully towards the front door. So focused was she on the task ahead of her, she barely noticed the birthday balloons floating around the front garden.

Addison dodged various hyper active kids as she crossed the back garden to replenish their sticky popcorn supply. She smiled to herself when she spotted a little blond girl with pigtails poke a young dark haired boy with a shy smile on her face before producing a lollipop as an offering to him. She could almost feel the disappointment radiate from the young girl as the boy snatched it from her daring hands and ran off towards his friends.

A doting mother quickly swooped in with a slice of chocolate fudge birthday cake to console her young charge. Addison watched the girl's face light up as she followed her mother to a small picnic table, paper plate clutched protectively in her young vice grip. Keeping it safely out of anyone's line of sight if they dared glance her way.

"Not exactly who I was looking for, but I think you are more worthy of this little gem." A familiar, clipped voice came from behind Addison.

She spun around and came face to face with Nancy Shepherd. Stealing a glance up and down her former sister in law, she could be certain of one thing. If Derek were to step within Nancy's viewing range, he was a dead man. She smiled, perfect timing, for once.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in surprise, taking the paper plate from her hands and grinning in thanks.

"Do you mean Seattle here, or Richard Webber's back yard here?" Nancy asked, her eyes scanning the area, narrowing every now and then we she thought she spotted something useful, or interesting. It tended to take a certain something to hold Nancy's attention for longer then three minutes.

"Both." Addison responded quickly, she watched Nancy like a hawk. Although the two got on well, probably better then either did with their own sisters', that could be subject to change, depending on what the current circumstances were.

"You mean to tell me that it was some other Addison Montgomery, formerly Shepherd that was shrieking into my ear in the early hours of dawn this morning?" Nancy asked with a raised eyebrow.

Addison clapped a hand over her mouth and groaned, closing her eyes as her brain raced to uncover any other important alcohol induced events that she had blocked from her memory.

"You didn't fly all the way out here because of me did you?" she asked seriously, eyes trained on Nancy's motionless body.

"Of course not. You are not that fabulous, yet. Really, all you did was give me an early wake up call. And a head start on the hideous bad mood I've been in since breakfast. Thank for that by the way. I'll be sure to send some dead roses."

"You wouldn't be the first." Addison mumbled.

Nancy's eyes finally landed on the one person she had been itching to talk to since flight DA04358 had touched down on Seattle soil. She locked eyes with Addison for a moment before heading in the direction of her unfortunate brother.

"You have some explaining to do."

Derek looked up from where he had been tenderly stuffing Hershey's kisses into a rocket ship piñata. He locked eyes with his twin and immediately resumed stuffing.

"Aw, thank you twin brother. I've missed you so much too, it's ok I'm sure you'll make more of an effort to keep in touch this time. It's not like anything important has happened since we last spoke face to face anyway. Oh no don't worry about all the unnecessary costs or pressures all of this flying across the country is doing to me. _I'm fine thank you by the way_."

"You finished?" Derek enquired as he secured a string to the nose of the rocket.

"Yes actually."

"Excellent." Derek pushed Nancy out of his way and strode towards the party, ignoring her angry footsteps behind him.

Nancy followed her brother back into the throws of the party until they ran smack into a flaming haired beauty with a plate full of chocolate fudge and icing.

Derek spun around in agitation. "You're kidding me right? Of course _you_ would have the heart black enough for this kind of crap." He narrowed his eyes at Addison, who stared at him, dumbfounded for a moment.

"Don't you even begin to think that _this_ was something I had planned all along."

"It wouldn't surprise me you know. First you took the person who I thought of as my brother, now you try and take my family. My own damned _twin_?" his voice rose harshly.

Addison glanced around and stepped closer, lowering her voice.

"I'm going to pretend I never heard that. I'm mad enough at you as it is, with reason, might I add. Don't you go tearing up things that you _know_ are finished and dealt with. That _both_ of us are ok with now. Just, _don't, _Derek." She stepped back from him and exhaled. She took the piñata from his hands and secured in on the line of rope hanging above them.

"You can sleep on the couch. Or in the trailer. I don't want you in my bed until you've stopped acting like a petulant child." She hissed before stepping around him and making her way towards the house, cell phone in hand and Adele on her heels.

Nancy folded her arms across her chest. Her mouth etching upwards in an arrogant smirk.

"When I left you two last time you were buying a house together. Care to explain?"

Derek simply swung the aero board baseball bat at the rocket ship. It exploded in a shower of silver encased chocolate with one swing and the children quickly flocked to his side. He dropped the bat on the floor and stormed towards the kitchen.

--

"It's not enough that she makes friends here who would gladly rip my head off, but then, she steals my sister. Nancy? Why would she do that? She knows I can barely handle her, why throw in an extra pit bull." Derek slurred as he let his head flop down on the dirty counter in front of him.

"Shepherd. Shut up." Joe snapped quickly. His fluid motions of drying glasses halting when he caught sight of said pit bull behind his most pitiful customer.

"Handle me?" a voice, chilled and angered caused Derek's head to shoot up into the air so fast Joe was almost certain that there would be some sort of vomit drama ensuing outside his door.

Addison turned on her heel and left. Derek scrambled after her. He reached out a shaky hand to grab her arm. Addison snapped it out of his reach and turned to face him too quickly for his alcohol induced clumsiness. She was right in his face. Her nose wrinkled at the smell emanating from his pores.

"So when I get drunk and cause a scene I'm nothing but an unruly house pet? When you do it though, it's because some heartless monster who does nothing but make your life hell?" she didn't even bother giving him time to process her questions because she was gone in a second flat. The bell above the door jingled merrily, much to Derek's annoyance.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed angrily. Storming back over to the bar her grabbed his coat and knocked back the rest of his drink before slamming it down on the bar with such force that it could have cracked in half. He left, the door crashing back on it's frame as his swaying stature disappeared into the misty rain outside.

At the far end of the bar, sitting just outside the frenzy of a darts game, Meredith motioned to Joe for another bottle and sighed. "I wouldn't do that to him." She whispered quietly to herself.

Sitting at a booth in a darkened corner, Nancy watched the evenings proceedings with hawks eyes. She sipped her red wine and mused to herself. Mark looked at Meredith and sighed in pity.

"Well now that screaming baby from JFK to SeaTac doesn't seem so worthless after all."

"This isn't a game Nancy. People are getting hurt here. Give them time to heal."

Nancy glanced at Mark curiously. Things had certainly changed here then. The man whore had grown a heart and her brother had lost his intelligence. More than likely got washed away in the rain. "I know that Mark. I'm not some manipulative bitch who just swooped over here to mess with people's head for her own entertainment. I'm someone's sister. Family, who's sick of all of the immature shit that my brother keeps bringing upon himself.

"You're a modern day saint. Tell me, what's first in your plan of action, Mother Teresa?" Mark asked dryly from behind the rim of his glass.

Nancy stood from the table, slipping coat over her shoulders she tossed a ten on the table and flipped open her cell phone.

"You'll just have to wait and see."

She nodded politely to the big gay guy behind the bar, poor guy would probably be a very rich man if he swapped the bar man role for therapist with all of his tragic customers. She shuddered as she stepped under the damp air outside and pulled out her phone, dialing the same number that her unfortunate brother probably was.


	12. Chapter 12

_I think it's been a significant amount of time since I've updated. People need to start reminding me... although, I don't know if anyone still reads this. I do. Just because I can.. Enjoy. _

_

* * *

_

Nancy stepped onto the elevator and smiled softly. It was easier to smile today, now that she had a plan, she knew that all it would take was to follow through, and that was something that had never been a problem for her before.

"Just follow through." she murmured, smoothing her fingers through her sleek dark hair, it had grown slightly since she had been here last, but only enough for her to notice. She doubted whether her husband had even noticed. She shook her head, "don't think about that now." she glanced quickly around the small confined space she was in and let out a sigh of relief when she was reassured with the fact that she was indeed alone

Until right that second.

The doors opened with a ceremonial ding and on stepped three young doctors. Interns.

Surgical interns. Friends of Meredith Grey, and if she wasn't mistaken, her roommates and best friend too.

'_Perfect'_, she whispered to herself.

Yes, her day was shaping up to be a vast improvement on her first day in Seattle.

Isobel Stevens couldn't help but feel a little nervous. After Christina and George had been deposited at their respective floors, she was left alone with Nancy Shepherd. Derek's sister. She was intimidating, and tall. She was tall and beautiful and Izzie was almost certain that when she had gotten on this elevator from hell that Nancy Shepherd had selected a floor that was about two stops in the past.

"This has got to be the tallest hospital in the world." she muttered out loud.

"I was beginning to get that feeling myself." Nancy smiled sweetly. Too sweetly. She noted the subdued look of fear lining the blonde's face and knew she had to tone it down."I don't think we were ever formally introduced. I'm Nancy Shepherd." she held out a hand and Izzie took it gingerly. They shook, firmly, eyes locked the entire time until Izzie cleared her throat. A nervous habit, Nancy assumed.

"Izzie Stevens." she replied. "But I'm guessing from the James Bond look in your eyes you already knew that." she added when she noticed Nancy was still staring her intently in the eye.

Nancy nodded. "I was hoping you could help me actually. You seem like a reasonable person, probably one of the only ones left in this hospital."

"I'm not sure, yesterday I got on the elevator and started practicing delivering my patients diagnosis to my reflection in the doors." Izzie said, laughing awkwardly. She bit her lip and mentally kicked herself for acting like an idiot in front of her bosses sister.

Nancy smiled. "I could definitely use your help then."

**&**

Derek slammed his locker door shut and ran his fingers through his hair. He inhaled deeply before exhaling and leaning his forehead against his locker door.

"Rough night?" a gruff voice called from across the room. Derek turned and saw Mark Sloan standing at the entrance from the attending' showers, adjusting his towel, which wrapped snugly around his waist.

Derek shook his head and turned on his heal, swinging his stethoscope around his neck he burst through the door and turned sharply, heading down the short stretch of hall to the third floor nurses station. Reaching over the desk he retrieved some of his patient files from the rack, noting that Burke's had already been taken, by his over eager intern Yang no doubt. He started flicking aimlessly through them when the squeaking of sneakers on the floor and a strong voice caught his attention.

'_Great.'_ he groaned to himself.

"Shepherd, got a preference for your intern for today. I'm sure you have something of interest to them all."

"Yeah, a sister wondering the halls." Karev muttered under his breath. Not quiet enough. Bailey slapped the back of his head and ordered him to find Sloan and assign himself to his charts and dressing changes for the day.

"She's actually really sweet. She's just here for her family." Izzie added thoughtfully. Derek's head snapped up.

'_She's gotten to one already.'_ acting quickly Derek closed his chart and added it to the top of his pile. "I'll take Dr. Grey, if that's alright with you Dr. Bailey." he smiled, hoping no one would notice the panic that edged his voice.

"Not my business who you take as long as you take one and you both do your jobs. I assume you know what your job is." she stared him down for a moment until moving off. Derek leaned casually against the nurses' desk and smiled charmingly back at her from under his head of thick dark hair.

Bailey and the rest of her interns moved on. It wasn't until they had moved off that Derek saw who had been standing behind them, chart in hand and looking unusually statuesque. The smile fell from his face when Addison slapped her chart closed and stormed right past him. So close that her arm brushed against him and her conditioner clouded his head for a second. He missed the way that smell would linger on her pillow, how when she was called away to deliver babies who did not conform to time normalities, he could pull her pillow towards him and it felt like she was still there, her head tucked safely under his chin, fists curled into tight balls against his chest, keeping him warm.

"Where's our patient?" Meredith's voice broke his train of thought. He looked at her for a minute, attempting to clear his mind. It was a hard job to do when he could still feel Addison's hair brushing against his cheek and her fingers wrapped around his neck. He hadn't been home in so long.

Derek handed Meredith the chart and started down the hallway. He could hear her worn old converse rubbing against the linoleum floors as she hurried to catch up with him.

**&**

"All I'm saying is that she doesn't mean anything bad. She just wants to see her brother. They are twins after all. She's looking out for him. I get that. I get how she just wants to help. This is the only way she knows how."

"What way? Storming in and stalking all over the place like this is some piece of land she's laying claim to. We are doctors. Surgeons. Lets get back to saving lives. Slicing people open. Please." Christina snapped as she tied her yellow paper gown behind her neck.

The two stood in the ambulance bay, waiting.

"She's an adult. We're all adults here. She just wants to spend some time with her family. Her friends. You know that Derek's mom used to keep a spare pair of Sloan's pyjamas and sheets at their house because he stayed over so often. ." she smiled happily at Christina, who merely rolled her eyes.

"Ok, you all ready for this" Mark asked as he and Burke stepped outside to join the interns. Christina hurried to fill them in on all the details while she quickly helped Burke to fasten the ties around his neck.. Izzie rolled her eyes and stepped to the side to make room for Sloan.

"If it isn't may favourite coffee girl herself." he winked at Izzie with a grin.

Izzie rolled her eyes and arched an eyebrow. "I know all about Mr Snaffles."

Mark's eyes shot open. "How do you-" he was cut off at the blaring sirens that announced the arrival of their patients.

**&**

"_I….. just…… need…. One…. Minute."_

"Dr. Montgomery?" a voice bellowed loudly down the dimly lit hall.

It was quiet down here. The only on call room furthest away from the chaos of the emergency room or the surgical floors of the maddening quietness of the ICU. Without the hopefulness of the nursery or the sleek, polished and perfected air of the OR, this was the only place in Seattle Grace Addison had found to be of service to her when she needed it most.

The on call room closest to the morgue but not actually near it, not actually containing the despair that hung from the low ceilings of the sterile, cold room but nestled around the corner and down five shallow steps from it.

"Dr. Montgomery? Are you down here?"

"_One… two…. three…..-"_

"Doctor.. Oh, here you are. We've been paging you. You weren't answering and the chief got worried. He sent me to get you. We need you, there's a pregnant woman up in the ER."

Addison heard the words O'Malley was rattling off to her. The new patients heart rate, the signs of foetal distress, her history of drug use, young girl, various other medical information that would be critical to Addison at some point over the next few minutes. Days, hopefully.

She heard the words and shoved them neatly and efficiently into the compartment of her brain that analyzed these much faster than the diligent intern could recite them. She put them there while another part of her brain reeled madly through O'Malley's first words.

"How did you know where I was?"

"One twenty over forty… oh, ohm. I didn't, actually it was Dr- your- Shepherd. Dr. Derek Shepherd." he stumbled through his words. Addison observed him for a moment. Completely lost when it came to dealing with people, a saint when it came to patients and a slave when it came to being a doctor. He was certainly a complex sub-plot running alongside Meredith Grey's freight train of snarled life experiences wasn't he.

She snapped back to her surgeon's mind frame as they boarded the elevator.

"Any other injuries that we know of?" she fired at him as he rattled off more information about the babies' condition.

"A deep laceration on the left temple. The chief wants her to get a full neuro work up to rule out any other injuries…." he trailed off when he noticed the far away expression masking Addison's face.

"_Of course he does…"_

**&**_  
_

"I heard that she kicked him out. Of his own house."

"I thought it was _their _house. Brand new. Recently purchased."

"That couldn't be right anyway, apparently once they both got back from that "conference" they moved in together."

"I thought he was still with Grey when they got back."

"He was." two nurses deadpanned.

"I'm lost. So who owns the new house? And when did she kick him out?"

"Better question is why."

"I think we all know the answer to that. I'll give you a clue, her name begins with M and she has a famous mommy."

Addison cleared her throat loudly as she and O'Malley breezed past the desk the chattering nurses were currently huddled around. Well, she breezed. O'Malley followed her quick fluid movements as best as he could.

Addison took a deep breath as she pushed open the door to Trauma Bay 3. As soon as she stepped over the threshold, it was all gone. Her personal life was now non-existent. These people were strangers to her. She knew them only by their skill. She eyed an intern shakily applying the gel to her new patient's swollen abdomen warily.

"Your name." she addressed the intern curtly.

"Yang. Christina. You operated on me nearly a year ago. I had an…." Addison held up a hand and shook her head.

"And yet in nearly a year you have gained so much experience that you can now successfully ultrasound the backside of our patient's child. Gold star for Yang." she stepped in front of the curly haired intern and took her position hovering over the young woman as she mentally ran tests and observed her condition.

Christina glanced at Meredith, a look of utter despair storming across her features. This wasn't how things normally went. She was never just shrugged off by the attending. They loved her.

"Maybe you should stick with cardio, they are pretty fond of you there." George murmured as he pushed an IV kit in front of her. Christina grabbed the handle and stepped in his line of travel.

"You wish Bambi." she quickly moved towards Dr. Derek Shepherds end of the patient and assessed the situation as best as her intern's experience would allow her.

"Little harsh don't you think, Addison." Derek commented as he gently ran his fingers over the patient's scalp.

She winced in pain when Derek got to a tender spot.

"Speak for yourself, Dr. Shepherd, I think Ms…"

"Butler!" O'Mally, Grey and Yang jumped in quickly. The other doctors and nurses present in the room exchanged quick and loaded glances with on another. This case was going to be interesting.

Addison shot the eager interns a warning glance before addressing Derek once more. "Ms Butler here is in enough discomfort already. We don't need _you_ and your club fists swinging around there blindly."

"_Addison_." Derek said sharply.

The two surgeons locked eyes. The tension in the room mounted as everyone held their breaths.

George looked from Derek to Addison and back again in a flash.

Meredith groaned inwardly.

The ex-Shepherds looked like they were about to start their own Great War right there and then.

Christina glanced at the patient and her monitors. The only objects in the room making noise.

"What are we doing?" she asked assertively, looking between the two surgeons.

Addison continued to glare at Derek, daring him to pull rank and demand she get her hands off his precious patient. Derek blinked quickly before readjusting himself. He had always taken just that little bit longer to switch from person to surgeon.

"_And even longer to switch back…"_ Addison mused to herself as she continued to review her patients vitals and the details from the instance which had led the young woman to be laying in the hostile environment she was in now.

"I need a CT scan and an MRI so I can see what I'm dealing with. This wound here is superficial but there may be some underlying injuries that can't be left untreated. I need some images. I can't just go poking around in there _blindly._" he uttered the last word coolly, looking only from his patient to Addison and back.

"Beth don't worry, you're in good hands here. I'll see you in a little bit after Dr. O'Malley and Grey here take you up for some scans so we can get a good look at your brain. Dr. Yang, I trust you can handle some sutures. Although, Dr. Montgomery here might prefer if you had someone from plastics handle the needle. They have such _skilled_ hands after all." he snapped bitterly.

Addison's jaw locked in place before she could hurl twisted insults at Derek from across the room. Something on the monitor caught her eye. "No way. You can't get an MRI." she gestured toward the monitor she was looking at. Derek quickly darted across the room to join her. As did the three interns. George scrambled over a nurses foot, she yelped in pain and shot him an angry look before she adjusted her position so she could see over Dr. Shepherds shoulder.

"Could someone please tell me what's going on? Please?" the weak voice of Harriet Butler called softly from the examiners table.

The surgeons each looked from one set of disbelieving eyes to another. Addison sighed, both at her own lack of professionalism and at that of the interns. Derek, she was ignoring, for now.

"Well, Ms. Butler…"

"Harriet." the young girl corrected quickly.

"Harriet. You have become a much more interesting patient than you were two minutes ago." Addison smiled gently at the young girl before she launched into an explanation.

**&**

"It's going to be one of the biggest surgeries this hospital has seen in years."

"What about the grown conjoined twins?"

"Bigger."

"Better."

"Riskier."

"Sexier." A roomful of nurses eyes swung to settle on the young psych intern. He shrugged and quickly ducked out of the conversation. The ever watching eyes rolled and they went back to their rapid fire discussion.

"Even more interesting."

"I hear they might even need the _other _She-Shepherd to join in."

Nancy deftly flattened herself against the wall she had been passing quietly when she heard to excited voices whispering rapidly.

"I have _got_ to get in on that case." a female voice broke through the excited chatter.

"You and me both." Nancy muttered to herself. She pulled her pager out of her pocket and sent a message to Addison furiously.

"Spying on the interns now? That's desperate. Even for you, Nancypants." a deep male voice broke through Nancy's frantic messaging. She looked up and found herself face to face with the broad, muscular surgeon.

Arms folded across his solid chest and scrub cap still in place he looked every inch the polished plastic surgeon he was. Award winning and people pleasing.

"_Mostly the female people._" Nancy reminded herself. "Shut up loser." she responded distractedly. She pushed past him as she strode purposefully toward the elevators.

"Try the roof." he called after.

She glanced over her shoulder and saw his shoulders slump slightly as he laced his fingers together behind his head and exhaled a breath strong enough to blow down the brick house as well as the straw one. She ducked into an opening elevator before she was tempted to turn on her heel and wrap his broken frame in a warm hug.

"_Focus Nancy.. Focus."_ she warned herself repeatedly as she pushed the button for the top floor rapidly.

**&**

Derek let the wind wrap around his outstretched hands. Gliding between his fingers and whistling past his eyes. He closed his eyes and just let himself be. Standing there, solid as a rock against the breeze, daring it to push him, pull him or even hurl him to far to one side so he'd plummet to the cement solid ground below. He stepped back two steps from the edge and opened his eyes. He reached out again, this time pushing his arms out in front of himself. They collided with something cold and hard. His wrapped his strong fingers around the railing and envisioned himself ripping it from the ground at his feet and hurling it across the city. Letting it crash down on top of some unsuspecting, harmless couple in love. That's how it was going to turn out in the end anyway. Why string them along, stretching out the ride for them. Taking them all the way to the top of the rollercoaster before pushing them over the steep edge, unprepared for the stomach churning loops and spins that awaited them as they crashed back down to reality.

"You haven't changed a bit have you?" a voice called out to him. Reaching high up above the wind, it settled on his tense body like a security blanket.

Nancy stepped up beside her brother. Reaching out and placing a hand over his. Squeezing his fingers reassuringly.

"She's hurting, Derek. Honest to God hurting. It's worse now. Because you were both back to that place. The place where you were AddisonandDerek. One word. Happy, almost. Content. You looked like you could have been on the way back towards working things out. For _fuck sake Derek you bought a fucking house._"

Derek eyed his twin curiously for a moment. She looked at him through her thick dark lashes and pushed her short hair behind her ears.

"Sorry, lost it for a second."

"Yeah, well, I get hurt too Nance. I do." he turned and quickly made his way back to the large double doors. He paused as Nancy's voice travelled to him across the windy space.

"I know you do." she called softly after his retreating form.

"Addison's going to need you for a consult. She needs a second opinion before she takes this on herself. She'll need you."

Nancy shook her head.

"You're both just too damn stubborn to push past the shit and accept you need each other too." the double doors slammed shut and a gust of wind blew Nancy's retort back to her.

"_He never listens anyway."_

**&**_  
_

Her voice is shaky, broken and hoarse.

"Are you okay? I know this surgery is going to be huge and Richard's putting a lot of pressure on you. Trying to get some media coverage and-"

"Derek. You're not listening to me."

"You're not saying anything."

"I still hate you."

"I like you."

"I don't like you right now."

"What were you saying" He's getting impatient. She can feel it. He shouldn't be. It's not going to help win him any battles in the near future.

"_Where are my shoes Derek?"_

_The steady hum from the phone informs him that as much as he's hurting, she will always be just that little bit more pissed off. He eyed the patent red heels tucked safely away in his locker at work beneath a pile of navy scrubs. He slammed it angrily and shoved his blackberry back in it's cover. _

"_Fuck."_


	13. Chapter 13

_Merry Christmas. I do believe this is the chapter that is ridiculous and confusing_, _also, certain people are _wildly_ out of character, but in my head it worked perfectly. This is also comfortably lengthy, I suggest reading with some hot chocolate. _

_Enjoy your various holidays.  
_

* * *

She hates him. She hates him. She hates those meaningful looks he shoots her, his great smile that makes the sides of his eyes crinkle like paper bags, that famous hair of his, the sound of his voice when he says please and thank you, and the ferryboats printed across his scrub cap. And now, the smell of scotch makes her break into a hot angry sweat that she washes away every morning and night, and she hates that she loves him.

She loves him. She loves him so much, but she can't love him. She cannot love the man who made her fall in love and think about living together as an old grey couple. She cannot and will not allow herself to become 'the other woman'. Not again. That is not who she is. She is a surgeon. She is focused, hard-working, she's smart and funny and she will be the person who will achieve everything that she can in her life. She will do it. She will do it without him, because she never once saw that man beside her when she decided that was the kind of person she wanted be. So no, she was not the kind of person who was going to let this love and hate stop her from being who she can be.

She could do greatness all on her own. It seemed she had everything else covered, she might as well do something positive, all by herself.

A sharp piercing beep in her left ear made her shove her covers down to her feet and swing her legs over the side of her bed.

There was a slow movement from the warm body lying beside her.

Impulses. They happen. For some people it happens when they walk through a department store, or a flea market or pass a gym.

"Good morning." He had light blond hair, short and tousled, but it had been meticulously styled. He had these striking green eyes, not exactly deep and intriguing, but warm and inviting. They gave the impression that he would lay it all out on the table. They were clear and honest. Something about them told her that he hadn't lived yet. He was just starting out.

"I'm going to go take a shower and.." she stopped, she looked at the alarm clock and then back at his green eyes. Inviting her in.

"You're not going to take a shower." he smiled before reaching out and pulling him back to her.

'_And you are not Derek Shepherd.'_ Meredith smiled to herself as she let her body lean against the big strong green eyed man and realised that starting over was a good thing, and that she should do it more often. She was going to make active changes in her life, and she was starting with her relationships.

**_&_**

"I'm too old for this." Addison eyed the slim blonde in front of her and tried to figure out exactly how long she would have for sleep if she left this second and had to be back at the hospital at eight. Sleep. In all her life so far Addison could only recall a hand full of times when she had had a longing for sweet unconscious bliss this badly.

"You are not too old for this. Those panties, maybe, but this, my mother could do this. I'm sure she does too."

"You are not actually talking about your mother right now are you?" Addison winced as she caught a girl madly swinging her long tousled brunette hair counter clockwise as she allowed her body to slide down the metal pole before she landed in a gracefully sexy heap on the floor.

"This is great. They never have classes this early in Connecticut." Addison shot her a look. "Yes, I know, happily married successful doctor with three gorgeous kids scouring the entire state for a strip club that gives classes before her eight am rounds is not exactly normal."

"Nancy, when have you ever been normal?"

"That's a trick question, because I choose to see the world as a place where normal is merely a figment of the populous' imagination. There is no true way to be normal. You can only conform to other people's expectations."

"And you wonder why your kids can't just watch Disney Channel with the rest of their friends…." Addison glanced at the gleaming pole to her right and casually wrapped a leg around it. It was hard and uncomfortable but within a minute she had mustered up the energy and conviction to successfully complete a basic chair spin, much to Nancy's amusement.

"You're a natural." she smirked.

"You think these come in neon colours? I'm thinking I could have it installed in his office, right in front of the window, charge it to his card and get the matching dancer." Addison mused as she watched the instructor demonstrate some more complicated looking back hooks to the slim blonde with a look of utter determination on her face.

"Derek doesn't have an office. And why in the world would you do that _for_ him. That's as good as letting a five year old free in the factory where they make Skittles." Nancy watched her former sister-in-law, trying to figure out where this was all going and if it was going to interfere with her plan. "_Addison."_ she snapped when the red head didn't answer. Addison turned and looked at her, her eyes dark and her body tense.

"He still has my shoes." she responded, a certain amount of venom laced her words, giving them a slightly edgy tone.

'_Now that will certainly work nicely in my favour.' _Nancy smiled happily to herself before taking a slight skip and jump before flinging her legs in the air above her head and winding them around the pole, letting her body swirl slowly around and around.

**_&_**

Derek caught a glimpse of her as she disappeared around a corner. He quickly moved his gaze back to the OR board, nodding in the vain hopes that Burke would take his silence as an awe filled reverie. He let the words and schedules float in front of his eyes as his brain tried to wrangle the right words together in a sentence. He had no problem talking, he enjoyed good conversation. He had always been able to talk to her, talking to her had never been a problem.

He felt like he could share so many things with her, and he had.

Everything except the most important details.

Everything had been fresh and new, they were getting to know each other right from the beginning. He hadn't needed to reinvent himself, but he had been able to leave out anything that was hard or difficult, anything that he had failed to mention had been because he hadn't been able to comprehend what happened. He had been able to pick and choose the parts of his life up until the point when he walked into his bedroom and saw his wife and his best friend in his bed, having sex on his favourite sheets, that he wanted to bring forward with him on this new adventure he had created for himself. On the other side of the country. He had been indulging the five year old inside him that still duelled with dragons and won Super Bowls on Sunday afternoons.

An intern rushing down the corridor with a steaming Styrofoam cup in one hand and a peach coloured patient chart in the other made Derek snap out of it. Why was he standing there, brooding like some angst-ridden hormonal teenager when he had operations to perform, patients to check on, paper work to do, research to finish and interns to observe. Why was he standing there letting his mind wander until it had successfully mangled itself into a knotted ball of over analyzed and melancholic notions. Derek wondered where the time had gone, he felt that there were whole years he was missing, that his life had been put on fast forward and he and been the one holding the remote.

He shook his head as Addison made her way over to the OR board. She stood beside him, pulling herself up to her full height and crossing her arms in front of her chest. She studied the dry erase board with a sharp eye. She cleared her throat and stole a side ways glance at him.

"I was wondering if you knew where I would be able to find a DVD player?" she asked quietly.

Derek struggled to keep his eyes focused straight, he knew if he looked at her everything would evaporate in a second.

"My patient, her younger brother is here, and he's kind of panicky. I need to keep them all relaxed, her blood pressure can't get any higher, she needs to be as relaxed and stress free as you possibly can be when you're lying in a hospital bed. Otherwise I can't operate. And if I can't operate you can't operate, and if you can't operate…" she trailed off.

"That would make two of you then." he smiled gently when he heard her exhale loudly and close her eyes, the muscles in her shoulders and neck going slack as she allowed herself to stop for just two seconds and regroup. "Don't worry about it, I'll get it to him before you could even have found one."

Their heads turned at the same moment, they shifted slightly, you could blame it on exhaustion, slippery floors, maybe even just a little bit of mutual attraction.

Addison glanced from his lips to his eyes and before her brain had time to register the smile on his face her lips were pressed against his and it wasn't rushed or awkward. It was sweet, and gentle. Two words she would not have even considering using to describe her and Derek in the last couple of days.

She pushed herself away with her hands flat against his chest and turned, she walked away with her hands balled into fists in her lab coat pockets and a smile battling it's way to her eyes.

"His name's Joey." she called over her shoulder before she picked up the pace and ducked around the corner.

Derek smiled and nodded gently, not aware of the dozens of heads that had poked out from behind closed doors, over patient charts or behind coffee cups.

"O'Malley." he called out when he caught sight of the soft spoken young man's crop of dark hair behind the nurses station.

George looked around him quickly before hurrying in Derek's direction.

"Yes, Dr. Shepherd?" he looked almost pained to say it and Derek was reminded of one more thing he needed to do before he left the hospital that day.

"You and I are going to go and get some movies to watch. Unless your too busy doing some very important paper work over there for Dr. Sloan?" he caught George's eyes and held his gaze.

George shook his head and then nodded quickly. "I would be, happy to, Dr. Shepherd. I can finish that some other time, it's not a matter of life and death. Just liposuction." he whispered the last part under his breath and Derek smirked.

"After you." He gestured for George to lead the way, which he did, unsure of himself and confused, but leading the famous neuro-surgeon anyway.

**_&_**

It was raining, as per usual, it had started raining late that morning and the precipitation had only accumulated speed and force as the afternoon ended and night came rolling in.

Nancy was nursing a gin and tonic when they came in the door. With sullen expressions and sodden umbrellas and over coats, the bell above the door was even too cheerful for them. A flash of red in the direction of the toilets made her grab her coat and her partner's umbrella and dart across the dim bar. She grabbed the red head's elbow and steered her towards the door.

"We're leaving." she said by way of explanation. "I feel like putting our new found dancing skills to work somewhere, and here is clearly not the place."

Addison gave Nancy one of her patented looks, the one with the raised eyebrow and the sceptical eyes that made people raise the white flag in defeat.

"Ok fine, the slutty intern and her little posse just came in and I really don't want to relive this day through their eyes. I'm not drunk enough yet."

Addison shot a quick glance at the bar before grabbing the umbrella from Nancy's hand and marching for the door.

Nancy followed suit, smoothing her sleek dark bob before stepping out into the harsh downpour outside.

"Where are we going?" she called to Addison over the rain and the cars flashing past them.

Addison stuck a hand out and stood on the edge of the kerb, a taxi signalled to their side of the road, cut across two lanes and pulled up alongside the two women.

"Somewhere where _I_ can get that drunk." she answered before pulling the door open and ushering her former sister-in-law inside the cab.

**_&_**

Derek gently pushed the door open and stepped into the room. He sighed when he glanced at the sight in front of him. The nurse looked up from the monitor she was adjusting and raised an eyebrow at Derek and then the young boy lying on his stomach on the hospital bed, his eyes glued to the screen before him. The colours dancing on the screen gave the room an eerie glow. Coupled with the dim yellow light cast by the bulbs near the top of the bed the boy looked like a ghost.

"I can finish up here." Derek smiled and the nurse left with a shrug and a few more notes on the chart. Derek casually flicked it over once she had let the door close softly behind her rose coloured scrubs and let his eyes skim over the details.

"We got lucky today buddy." he murmured.

The boy didn't look up from the screen. Derek put the chart back down, letting his eyes pause over the doctor's names typed neatly along the spine. He furrowed his brow when he noticed the boy's unwavering concentration on the flickering images.

"You know, when I got you that little miracle machine there I didn't know it was going to steal your ability to speak." Derek pulled a chair up closer to the bed and sat down, all the while watching the boy lying on his stomach on the bed, propping his chin on the heel of his palm he looked completely unaware of his surroundings.

Derek sighed and leaned back in his chair. He wiggled his shoulders and stretched his arms up and over his head before yawning. "Ok then, what are we watching?"

The boy, Joey, finally turned away from the screen and met Derek's eye, he smiled brightly at the older doctor before shifting the DVD player so he could see. "Wall-E." he said simply. "It's my favourite." he turned back to the screen and began pointing at the various robots zipping back and forth throughout the scenes.

Derek smiled as Joey suddenly launched into some in-depth character profiles of each animated figure, he noticed the range of emotion that he touched upon with each description and how he seemed to have a particular attachment to each one, although he clearly had some favourites amongst them. He let his mind wander from the goings on aboard the giant space ship Joey was describing and allowed himself to attempt to process the day's events. He glanced at the patient lying peacefully on the bed beside him and couldn't help but marvel at the simple fact that she was still alive when she really shouldn't have been.

There had been multiple moments over the course of today when he had witnessed (not for the first time because they had studied together, learned together and practiced together on more than one occasion) marvellous medicine in it's purest form. The quick thinking and fluid cutting that had never missed a beat, not even when there had been chaos pouring in from all sides had she faltered. It had been a while since he had seen her take on something this impossibly challenging, and actually enjoy it.

There was a subtle whoosh. And his thoughts were silent.

Meredith Grey walked into the room, casually surveyed the small child lying on the hospital bed, the sleeping woman and the small smile on Derek's face.

She took a deep breath, focused on a point just above Derek's head and told him that she had slept with another man the night before, that she had cheated on him.

She told him that it had taken her making someone else (another innocent bystander in the torrid affair that were 'Meredith and Derek', of which there were many) into _the other person_ to realise that she was completely and utterly done with Derek Shepherd. She met his eyes once, whispered something about cleaning herself of him and Derek just managed to catch the part that mentioned anything that reminded her of him being in her home was going in the trash, which was picked at some ungodly hour on a Wednesday.

Meredith Grey walked out of the hospital room. She left a deafening silence and booming whoosh behind her.

Derek's mind began to shout and scream loudly in his head. So much so that he was forced to clap a palm to his forehead in frustration and pressed the call button. He waited until one of the night shift nurses arrived.

**_&_**

A drum was pounding on the ceiling. There was someone playing the drums in the attic. Someone had bought and set up a drum kit which had the largest and most deafening bass drum in the world in the attic directly above Addison's right eye sometime between two in the morning and half five in the morning without her or Nancy noticing.

Addison was jolted upright with the realisation that there was someone in her house playing the drums at five thirty in the morning, and her only source of protection was her pole dancing, Jägerbomb drinking and possibly comatose former sister-in-law (whose current whereabouts Addison wasn't entirely certain of, although she knew that she was definitely in the house somewhere).

With some form of inhuman strength, Addison managed to pull herself off of her bed and out the bedroom door, the drumming continued, it was getting louder and more intense the longer Addison's eyes stayed open.

As she crossed the threshold out onto the upstairs landing her bleary eyes caught something shiny and patent under the plant stand near the linen closet. She managed to bend down and grab it, noticing as she so that she was not wearing any pants, a tank top that she was certain Nancy had been wearing yesterday, but not a pant leg to be seen.

Wielding the stiletto as her only weapon, she tried to stealthily climb the steps to the third floor of her gorgeous new _almost_ country home just a ten minute drive away from the city of Seattle, or, more specifically, the lovely, bright, state of the art private hospital that she worked at. Well, ten minutes if you drove as Addison does. Fifteen to seventeen if you're Derek Shepherd.

'_Where is he anyway? That jackass should be the one protecting our home, not me. I'm supposed to be hidden beneath the fucking duvet.'_

Rounding the corner ever so slowly, Addison finally got a clear look into the converted attic. Upon seeing another short set of steps before her she glanced backwards and discovered that she had managed to scale a might four steps so far.

"Screw it." she muttered and flung her body up the remaining quarter flight of stairs into the brightly lit attic.

There was a loud thump from somewhere to her left and she promptly flung her arms above her head and screamed. Hands were suddenly grabbing at her waist and shoulders. Firm and hot fingers pressing into her skin and making the drummer in the attic and the pounding of her heart intensify. She attempted to pry them away from her, but all she could manage was a feeble slap. She could sense her hair flying everywhere and she had absolutely no idea where the black heel had gone. It was not in her possession, that, she was certain of.

"OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Addison let a weak whimper escape her lips. The hands on her hips were gone.

The drumming continued.

Her eyes looked wildly around her.

"Where's the drum?" she whispered.

Two sets of confounded blue eyes looked at her as if she had just announced she was moving to Uranus.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Nancy hissed, her hair tousled and her skirt backwards, (Addison was unnerved to discover that she at least had something covering her backside) she was undisputedly hung over and in a terribly viscous mood.

A quiet _'hiccup' _popped out of Addison, who clapped a hand over her mouth and ducked her head, her shoulders shook as she laughed, desperately trying to contain it.

Nancy's shoulders dropped and an expression caught between amusement and despair settled on her face. She bit her lip and looked at the beams of the ceiling.

Derek looked between the two dishevelled women and felt five years old again. He was five years old, wearing an itchy blinding white shirt and wedged between his mother and his oldest sister. The priest standing at the pulpit had just misread from the Gospel of Luke and was now trying to downplay it as much as he could on a scorching early summer morning. It was too early for Derek to be sitting so still and he could see Mark out of the corner of his eye making a gesture match the priest's word, and so could Father Andrew who was growing a deeper shade of shame with each massing moment. He could feel his sister's sides aching with the laughter just tearing up her composed form, on the other side he could sense his mother's frown at Mark's unruly behaviour and at the good father's in ability to pull himself together. He knew that he must not laugh. He knew he could not laugh. But he had to laugh.

Three middle aged successful surgeons were suddenly gripping themselves as the giggles overcame them at five thirty in the morning, in a brilliantly illuminated attic that belonged to two people who couldn't even remember whether they liked each other and were living together in the house with the attic anymore.

"Why are you in the attic?" Addison managed to ask eventually.

Derek, still chuckling and wiping tears from the corner of his eye shook his head and shot Nancy a look before answering, "Meredith is throwing my stuff in the garbage and it's being collected in about twenty minutes. I needed boxes." he gestured to piles of cardboard boxes stacked in one corner of the attic.

Nancy slowly ambled down the stairs and Addison merely stared at him, open mouthed and eyes wide. Her head pounded and she was almost certain that she was still drunk. Things like this didn't happen when she was sober.

Surely things like this don't ever happen.

_Ever._

_**&**  
_

Bare limbs of trees sped past on her right side, every now and then there would be a flash of colour, bright green, dark green, some left over brown or burnt orange that hadn't been washed away by the seemingly never ending rain. Slowly other cars began to join theirs on the roads. People heading to work, some younger less jaded looking people going to school. Addison glanced at her watch when the third school bus passed them.

"What time do the schools start here anyway?" she asked quietly.

Derek glanced in his left wing mirror and shrugged. He had always hated to the school bus. Being a young boy who had only sister's, no father, and who played in the school band tended to make his journey's to and from the school building less than enjoyable. There was also the small fact that it hadn't been until college that he had successfully completed the Herculean task of growing into his nose. And his hair. He signalled right and switched lanes.

"This is it." he nodded towards the pleasant looking grey-blue two storey house with an old slightly beat up station wagon parked out front and a large old bathtub standing beside two grey garbage bins.

He glanced up at the front windows, almost certain that he had seen a flicker of movement from the one on the far right. Putting it up to his imagination and the fact that for the last two weeks not one person he knew had managed to save themselves from not acting completely and utterly ridiculous and highly out of their own characters, he opened the car door and stepped out into the fresh spring morning.

"It's looking pretty nice out there, some clouds so a slight possibility of rain this afternoon or late morning, but for now you can rest assured it's crisp and dry out there." a painfully cheerful and awake voice caught Derek off guard.

He turned around in time to see Addison smashing her now empty coffee mug viciously at the radio. When she noticed that there were numerous chips falling at her feet and she had smashed the '2', '4' and '5' buttons from the radio, she stopped.

"Maybe you should get out and get some fresh air." Derek suggested. "You know, it's probably a good thing that you're in this state anyway."

Addison looked at him with an incredulous and pissed off expression before flinging the '5' button at his head, with added force. Derek stooped down and pocketed the black oval before she leaped out and ground it to dust with her foot.

"You still have my shoes." she whispered fiercely as she clambered out of his beat up old truck and joined him on the sidewalk.

"Lets get this over with shall we?" he gestured for her to go first, she shot him an angry look before sauntering over to the bathtub.

"I don't even _want_ to know why it is she's getting rid of _this_." Addison looked at the gleaming white tub as if it harboured some kind of infectious disease. She sniffed at it and shuddered.

"If I had known you were going this way about it, you could have stayed back at the house. Slept off this _mood_." Derek shook his head in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. This whole debacle was sending him down the path of premature grey hair.

"_This 'mood'?"_ Addison stood several feet away from him, hands on her hips and absolute fury in her eyes. She stamped her foot in anger and glared at him.

"You think that I _wanted _this? You think that I'm sulking like some spoiled brat because I _want_ to?" her voice was trembling.

Derek sighed, his head hanging over his miniscule possessions, he gripped the lip of the tub until his knuckles went white.

"Yes _Addison_ I think this is exactly what you wanted. And _yes, _I do think you're acting like a selfish, spoiled immature brat. Going out with my _married_ sister, who is a _mother_, and getting so wasted you thought your own hangover was a person who broke into _our _home and starting playing _the drums?_ What the hell is wrong with you? You have a patient who is fighting for her life, who is relying on you to save her life and her babies life at a moments notice. _You._ Just you. You, Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd are the only person in that _entire_ hospital who can _save her._"

It wasn't until a bird darted from a bush that he realised how loud his voice had risen. Surely he had woken the house's occupants by now.

Addison set her jaw, lowered her hands from her hips and stormed over to him. She invaded his space, her eyes not once looking away from his.

"You think I don't _know that?_ Do you want to know _why _I went out with your _sister _last night? You want to know _why _it is that I'm so _irresponsible?_ It's you Derek. You."

Derek simply stared. There are times when you have no words to say. When it seems that you cannot physically draw in the air to make a sound. For Derek, these times seemed to happen to him more often when he was in the presence of his ex-wife, (whom he was now living with).

"We were _happy_ again. We bought a _fucking _house. Then we get back here, and it all goes to shit. We get back here and you still have a girlfriend, who loves you and who you've made promises to."

"Addi-" Derek was cut off when Addison held up a hand to silence him. He closed his mouth and glanced at his feet. He needed to hear this, but that didn't mean he wanted to.

"You promised me things too Derek. It was going to be different this time. So, yeah, I'm feeling just a little bit confused."

"So am I," Derek exclaimed quickly before she could cut him off. "Don't you think I feel confused sometimes to? Come on Addison, you and I both know that these past few weeks, months even, neither of us have been ourselves….." he trailed off when Addison shot him a look.

"But I can tell you right now, that not _one_ of my patients has suffered. My personal life may be shot to hell but I have always remained professional and good at my job. You _knew_ that. So you don't you _ever_ lecture me about my responsibilities Derek. Don't kiss me and smile at me and then turn up a few hours later with Meredith Grey at your side with this big grin on her face and flaunting the fact you couldn't make up your mind. You strung us both along for far too long Derek. So _don't_ tell me that I'm the selfish one here. _Don't._"

The traditional beeping of a truck backing up signalled the end of Addison's monologue.

"Hey, you gonna keep that tub or what?" a gruff voice called from the back of the garbage truck.

Derek shook his head and made his way back to the car. "It's all yours," he called over his shoulder.

Addison turned on her heel and got into the passenger seat. She cleared her throat gently.

"You still have my shoes."

"I know." he reached across the great divide and took her hand. "We have to go to the hospital." he drove away from Meredith's house, the only sound in the car Addison's watch ticking and the suppressed sniffing from Derek.

Addison pressed a tissue into his hand and reached over to run a palm over his damp cheek.

"I'm sorry." she whispered gently as they pulled up at the hospital.

Derek pulled the keys from the ignition. With one hand on the door and the other still clasped in hers he turned to face her.

"No your not." he replied before pushing the door open.

She followed suit and stopped, calling out to him as he hurried towards the building, "Give me back my shoes Derek!"

'_My name's Addison Montgomery.' she added the latter quietly to herself as his dark head of hair passed through the gleaming revolving doors._

_Chapter 13_


End file.
